Gaming the System

C ran into what appears to ba a pretty good video game hoax by way of the Anchoress. Now C is not into video games at all, but this one caught her attention. It is called Mass We Pray, and it appears to lampoon the kitchier aspects of Christian video gaming, Catholicism, the WII system and gullible video game geeks.



A cross-chaplet (or an attempt at a rosary?) and kneeler controller!

Of course, anyone who has spent more than a Sunday in a Catholic church will recognize the problems with the "game." The kids cross themselves left-handed. They include "taking collection" and "conducting the choir" as a "sacrament and holy ritual." And of course the mixing of Protestant and Catholic motifs is a dead giveaway.

I would include in an expansion pack:
- the cantor's microphone and "too-high arrangement" level
- the deluxe K of C spaghetti dinner sauce ladle controller
- feedback-prone squealing hearing aid (try to guess which parishoner has it)


We Pray, Protestant Edition would include:
- Crockpot controller for the covered dish supper level
- Stay awake until the end of the sermon challenge
- "Race to the front" altar call level

And, to cover all markets, the game should be available in English, Spanish, French and Tongues.

This sort of reminds me of the "Jesus is a Friend of Mine"/Sonseed meme perpetuated by the dougsploitation blog -- without the innuendo.

I'll Dance at Your Wedding, or Aisle Be Gettin' Down to Chris Brown

It sure isn't Felix Mendelssohn.



10 Points up for expressing the joy of the occasion. 1000 down for not expressing the solemnity of the occasion. I wonder what the vows were like. If you dance like this at the wedding, what do you do at the reception?

I had intended to dive in the fray resulting from Darwin's Post "Culture Clash" on American Catholic and and Darwin Catholic, with a comment lamenting the lack of sacrament in the modern view of marriage, but this may say it all.

Maybe they read Jane Austin instead of Corinthians. Probably not.

A Certain Chemistry or Give Me a Little Sugar

A Mother's Day Poem -- Impossibly Sweet

Roses are red
and Pekoe is Tea
Can Sugar be Sweet
And be carbon-free?



Violets are blue
and pretty to see
do marketers take
high-school Chem'stry?

And can Hydrogen-free water be far behind?

Hat tip to Watts Up with That?"

On another note:

Happy Mother's Day C!

Indulge Me

From the religious products and services department we have two features:

Courtesy of the American Catholic and Donald R. McClarey, we have the latest in hermenutic innovation:



Well, perhaps I'll keep my manual version . . . .

From the blog Henley the Great Dane Says "BOOF!", a bit of "liberation" theology:



I think I'll let the truth set me free, if you don't mind.

". . . Doomed to Repeat It"

As I was driving home today, I caught a little bit of the hubbub about the the Rev Joseph Lowery's benediction at the Obama inaugural. I could not believe my ears -- not because the passage was offensive, but because I had heard something similar before.

When I was in college, I was a DJ at the college radio station. It was the final days of the good old vinyl record -- the newfanged CD was around, but not yet widespread. One of these old vinyl gems was Richard Nixon Superstar by David Frye. One of my favorite bits from the album was entitled "The Blacks" and involved a visit to the Nixon White House by Muhammad Ali. You can hear the first 45 seconds of the piece here. At the end of the skit, as I remember it, Ali becomes exasperated with Nixon's false hospitality and indicates that in America "if you're white, that's all right; if you're brown, don't come around; if you're red, you might as well be dead . . . ." The Rev. Lowry almost could have taken his inspiration from David Frye's Ali:


Lord, . . . , we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.

P.S. My old roommate and I always regretted not stealing that album upon our graduation. In the coming years, the station converted to CDs, and the copy of Richard Nixon Superstar was used as a weight on the bottom of a banner hanging outside the radio station window. The album is out of print, and very hard to find. If you are ever able to find a copy of the album, listen to "The Blacks" and see if it doesn't remind you of the good Reverend's benediction.

See, I Said Bang Your Head on the Keyboard Day Was Coming Up

PETA has written Ben and Jerry's proposing that they substitute human milk for cow's milk in their ice cream. They promote this mainly as a health measure, although I'm sure concern for those contented-looking Holsteins on the green Vermont hills depicted on the packaging was a powerful motivator.

Having lactated myself, all I can say is, "Moo." That and I'm sorry I didn't devise an official award for Stupidest Environmental Idea back when Greenpeace was commissioning that Noah's Ark replica.

Fortunately I stumbled across Hampton Roads Online (I spent a few years in that area, and used to read the Virginian Pilot and Ledger Star when I could.) and found that many of the commenters in the story's combox had plenty to say. A sampling of some of the more amusing remarks from the first page:

*...here's my suggestion... Nipple Ripple

*I have a great idea for the newly-minted mom baristas that work the espresso machines in Starbucks: "Cappuccino latte materno". With a twist, of course!

*Humans are the only species that consumes another animal's milk.[Citation from PETA's letter]
Tell that to my cat when he gets Elsie's best twice daily. Not to mention the plethora of wild animals I've fed cow's milk to.

*I had my share of breastmilk when I was an infant and though I have breastfed 2 of my children and am currently breastfeeding my youngest, I have no desire to partake in Cherry Garcia made with something my body secretes to nourish my young. Nor am I interested in consuming the breastmilk of other women.

I guess PETA didn't take into account that mammals don't as a rule continue to drink the milk of their own species into adulthood. Since they've taken an interest in promoting typical mammalian behavior, that is.

Sense and Suitability

D recently related to me details of a non-work-related conversation with a colleague. It seems the young lady was planning her wedding to another colleague, but had run across a hitch in the proceedings.

"We're both atheists," she explained, but I've always liked 1 Corinthians 13 and I thought it would be a nice reading for the ceremony. [The Groom] wouldn't have it. He said he'd rather have Jane Austen--and he doesn't even like Jane Austen. So I'll just pick out something from Jane Austen for a reading."

"Gee," I said to D. "Are you sure a little Ayn Rand wouldn't be more their speed? Y'know Austen was a clergyman's daughter, and devout. Might find something implicitly religious in that reading. Anyway, what's not to love about the Love Chapter? We know it's about God, but He's not mentioned in so many words there. You don't have to be religious to recognize the truths in that passage."

"Maybe not, but it came from That Book." D replied.

Theologically-minded Hon. Daughter #1 suggested that the Groom might have been more amenable if his intended had neglected to mention the origin of the passage: "Look what I wrote up for our wedding vows, honey!" A for creativity, F for bearing false witness. Anyway, unless he was brought up in complete Biblical ignorance, there's a good chance he'd recognize that oft-quoted, cross-stitched, calligraphed, woodburned, decoupaged, and tole-painted passage.

The discussion set me to thinking about possible Austenian passages suitable for a wedding ceremony. I'm a fan of England's Jane myself, but I'm hard pressed to think of any passages from her novels I'd have wanted read at my wedding. This notwithstanding the fact that marriage was one of her favorite topics. I understand she kept a prayer book which might be a better place to start--oh, never mind.

At any rate I did eventually come up with a short list of passages from the Books of Jane that might do, being on critical marital issues and all. Some possibilities:

The Book of Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 1, Verses 1-2:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering the neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

Perhaps not. Let us proceed a bit further along to Chapter 18, in which Mr. Collins declares his affections to Lizzy:
My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman... (Oops--maybe we can edit that out)...to set the example of matrimony...secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly...that it is the particular advice...of the very noble lady whom I have the honor of calling patroness...

On the other hand, Darcy's first proposal (Chapter 34) at least has some passion:
In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

Passable, provided you don't read on to the next paragraph in which he proceeds to insult her parentage. Chapter 61 goes on to tie everything up and throws in some moral analysis to boot:
Happy for all her maternal feelings was the day on which Mrs. Bennett got rid of her two most deserving daughters...As for Wickham and Lydia...His affection for her soon sunk into indifference; hers lasted a little longer, and in spite of her youth and her manners, she retained all the claims to reputation which her marriage had given her.

Maybe a little financial wisdom would be a safer way to go. The Book of Sense and Sensibility, Chapter 17:
"Strange if it would!" cried Marianne. "What have wealth or grandeur to do with happiness?"
"Grandeur has but little, said Elinor, "but wealth has much to do with it."
"Elinor, for shame! said Marianne; "money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. Beyond a competence, it can afford no real satisfaction..."
"Perhaps, said Elinor, smiling, "we may come to the same point. Your competence and my wealth are very much alike, I dare say...Come, what is your competence?"
"About eighteen hundred or two thousand a-year; not more than that."
Elinor laughed. "Two thousand a-year! One is my wealth! I guessed how it would end."
"And yet two thousand a-year is a very moderate income," said Marianne...A proper establishment of servants, a carriage, perhaps two, and hunters, cannot be supported on less..."

Some advice on compatibility from The Book of Emma, Chapter 7:
A woman is not to marry a man merely because she is asked, or because he is attached to her, and can write a tolerable letter.

Or this on marital readiness from the Book of Persuasion, Chapter 12, Verses 1ff:
...When any two young people take it into their heads to marry, they are pretty sure by perseverance to carry their point, be they ever so poor, or ever so imprudent, or ever so little likely to be necessary to each other's ultimate comfort. This may be bad morality to conclude with, but I believe it to be truth; and if such parties succeed, how should [insert names of the bridal couple here,] with the advantage of maturity of mind, consciousness of right, and [insert number here] independent fortune[s] between them, fail of bearing down every opposition?.

Well, there are a few ideas to start with. No doubt those crazy kids'll find something in Miss Jane's canon that speaks to their sentiments; we'll be anxious to hear what they eventually choose. Just the same, it might be prudent to thumb through Atlas Shrugged.

And Another One...

I wasn't able to get a photo of this as the marquee was changed shortly after I spotted it, but as we're now collecting crummy church signs (see post below) I thought I'd add it in.

A local nondenominational Christian church announced (briefly) the following item:

INTERNATIONAL AGUPE FELLOWSHIP

Is that what you get when the Youth Group hosts a taffy pull?

Signs and Wonders

 

Now here's a Crummy Church Sign that C spotted as we were driving. Unbelievable!

Rose & Mose

Two unrelated news items noticed in the past few days:

Lila Rose Rides Again

The pro-life UCLA Advocate, under the leadership of editor-in-chief Lila Rose, have busted Planned Parenthood yet again. (Links to previous investigations conducted by this intrepid young cub may be found here and here.) Targeting Idaho, a state in which it is legal to secretly tape a phone conversation, the Advocate had an actor pose as a prospective donor with an unusual request:

Donor: Wonderful. I want to specify that abortion to help a minority group - would that be possible?

Kersey: Absolutely.

Donor: Like the black community for example?

Kersey: Certainly.

Donor: OK, so the abortion I can give money specifically for a black baby, that would be the purpose.

Kersey: Absolutely. If you wanted to designate that you wanted your gift to be used to help (an) African-American woman in need, then we would certainly make sure that that gift was earmarked specifically for that purpose.

Donor: Great. Because I really face trouble with affirmative action, and I don't want my kids being disadvantaged, you know, against black kids. I just had a baby; I want to put it in his name, you know.

Kersey: Mmhmm, absolutely.

Donor: So that's definitely possible.

Kersey: Oh, always, always.

Donor: So I just wanna - can I put this in the name of my son?

Kersey: Absolutely.

Donor: Yeah, he's trying to get into colleges, and he's going to be applying, you know, he's just ... really faced troubles with affirmative action.

Kersey: Mmhmm.

Donor: And we don't, you know, we just think, you know, the less black kids out there the better.

Kersey: (Laughs) Understandable, understandable.
Um, David, let me, if I may, just get some sort of specific general information so we can set this up the right way. You said you wanted to put it in your son's name, and you would like this designated specifically to assist (an) African-American woman who's looking to terminate a pregnancy.

Donor: Exactly, and yeah, I wanna protect my son, so he can get into college.

Kersey: All right. Excuse my hesitation, um, um, this is the first time I've had a donor call and make this kind of request, so I'm excited, and I wanna make sure I don't leave anything out.

The full story and transcript may be found at The Idaho Statesman. Hat tip for the link to the Susan B. Anthony List (named for American history's best-known pro-life feminist.)

The Advocate also has tapes from several other states, but is waiting for responses from Idaho and Ohio (from whence they released a similar exchange) before releasing them.

Old-fashioned investigative reporting. I love it!

***

Moses' Long Strange Trip

Psychology professor Benny Shanon of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem went on a trip to the Amazon, where he went on another sort of trip entirely: one produced by a local hallucinatory plant potion. Since then, he's used the stuff hundreds of times and written a book about the plant. Why do I envision something along the lines of In a Gadda Da Vida or maybe those plays that Tennessee Williams turned out during the 60's that never see the stage anymore?

At any rate, Shanon's long strange trip "enlightened" him to posit a hypothesis about the religious experience of Moses and the Children of Israel at the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai, which he subsequently published in the philosophy journal Time and Mind. He suggested that the ancient Israelites may have used Middle Eastern desert plants (in particular, wild rue or acacia) in religious ceremonies and that these may have produced the events described in the book of Exodus:

And all the people perceived the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the voice of the horn, and the mountain smoking.

Which leaves me wondering: does one really need hallucinogens to see thunder and lightning, perhaps followed by smoke if the vegetation up there was dry, on an isolated mountaintop?

Shanon is a proponent of the religion-has-its-roots-in-the-use-of-psychotropics school of anthropology, presumably because no one could ever have a religious experience while stone cold sober. He figures the burning bush story is evidence Moses was trippin' years before he led the Children to the Promised Land as well.

Aside from the obvious issue of why the Children would follow some stoner across a desert through forty years of misery, I'm absolutely disinclined to buy this one. Moses wasn't chasing spiritual jollies when he encountered that bush, he was busy watching his father-in-law's sheep. I'm no aggie, but it seems to me that getting high while trying to hold off predators and keep together a herd of beasts not known for their intellect is not good animal husbandry.

It's no accident that many cultures which were known to use psychotropics in worship or fortunetelling kept the use limited to a select few on specific occasions. Life was pretty darn dangerous for primitive people: having large segments of the population or individuals critical to community survival one toke over the line could have spelled disaster.

The full story is here.

There is no St. Kermit . . . .

Today, the parody department presents a work gleaned from the comment box of the The Curt Jester. The verse was penned by Burnt Marshwiggle in response to a story on a Baton Rouge, Louisiana Mass in which a dog puppet made frequent explanatory interruptions.

reprinted with permission from the author:

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the puppets on the puppet mass tonight.

It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the puppet mass tonight.

Why do we always come here? We both already know, we have an obligation, despite the puppet show.

And now let's get things started
Why don't you get things started
It's time to get things started

On the most irrational desperational congegrational puppetational
This is what we call the Puppet Mass!

I generally don't get as wrapped around the axle on cultural variations in Mass (guitar vs organ vs silent, etc.). However, I do get very upset about the unnecessary disruption of others' prayer in Mass.


Update! There actually is a St. Kermit. Click here for details.

Displaced Intentions

Most of us understand the concept of "fight-or-flight" as it applies to animal behavior. Well, there is a third way, although it's not a really effective one. It's called displacement behavior. It's sort of a shutdown, really, although I suppose in some cases it could work in the favor of the displacer by thoroughly confusing the attacker. It's what happens when an animal, confronted with a fight-or-flight situation, chooses neither of those options. It instead does something completely pointless--say, sitting down and commencing to wash itself.

I bring this up because I think I'm beginning to see displacement behavior manifest among the most vocal of the Global Warming doomsayers. Perhaps the stress of impending disaster has taken its toll. Seriously, if you were convinced that we had only ten years to save ourselves, would you be going about trying to persuade people you were right using these methods?

Greenpeace (yes, that Greenpeace) has launched a project building a Noah's Ark replica on Mount Ararat in Turkey, according to CBS News. The purpose of the project is to "appeal to world leaders to take action against global warming." I'm a little shocked--I really always thought of the Greenpeace folks as a little smarter than this. Stark raving mad, trying to take on Soviet whalers in rubber rafts, true--but nonetheless, smarter than this.

On the brighter side, I think we've now found a tie for Stupidest Environmental Idea with Al Gore's Live Earth plans: "The earth is warming up, and we'll soon be past the Point of No Return...I know what we can do! Kids...let's put on a SHOW!!!"

(Hat tip:Dr. Jim West)
****
A funny quote from Paul Greenberg about a participant in a protest against his newspaper's editorial board. A good reminder to us all that when you aren't sure what it means look it up, ask somebody more knowledgeable, or for Pete's sake don't use it!

But the strangest part of the protest was provided by the courageous soul who said she'd talk only Off the Record. That's right: She was taking part in a news conference to speak off the record. There's something charming, or at least mystifying, about that concept. It's one of those prize non sequiturs you want to save for your collection. It sounds like something Yogi Berra or Casey Stengel might have said in public when they chose not to say anything in public.
****
Yard eco: A feeder first in the backyard last week--a very handsome pair of Goldfinches in full breeding regalia! The cardinal fledges, including our kid from the backyard, are now in flight plumage visiting the feeders with their parents and getting around the trees ably. Anoles all over the place--a moderate-sized male was flashing his dewlap on top of the mailbox post a couple of days ago.

Garden: Tomatoes over a foot tall. Been getting radishes for the last few weeks. The bunny really likes the tops. No luck with onions, but it looks like we may get some beets before summer if it doesn't get too hot too fast. Something ate holes in the pepper leaves. 1 pumpkin vine (from last fall's pie pumpkin) and 1 zucchini vine getting quite large. Need to find a lettuce that will do well here. Trying 2 cuke varieties with limited success thus far. Two of my three vines are in a pot so perhaps we can avoid the bitterness problem we had last year.

Fallen on Hard Times

I've been getting a little behind with the newspaper lately. One of our local columnists ran a bit of info last week on the expected opening, near London, of a new theme park purporting to re-create Charles Dickens' London.
Imagine,urges our fearless correspondent, finally your dreams of hopping over puddles of raw sewage while having your pocket picked by a malnourished street urchin can come true.
Well, heck, what are we waiting for? To Merrie Englande!

The Boston Globe has a longer, more optimistic account of the facility.

The Guardian is less sanguine about the whole thing:
Dickens World feels like Disney gone to the dark side.

The reviewer, Simon Swift, doesn't stop there, either:
The whole project cost £62m and hopes to present Dickens to coaches of schoolchildren without having to call in the Muppets for backup.
Actually, I kinda liked their Christmas Carol version. Don't think Gonzo and Rizzo would work in Hard Times or Great Expectations, though, unless perhaps Rizzo did a cameo sitting in the dessicated wedding cake.

The plan is to artfully side-step the more gruesome aspects of Dickens' work while still remaining faithful to the Victorian period...
With impressive restraint, Swift refrains from using "artfully dodge." I guess that's why he's writing for the Guardian, and I'm blogging.

...the logo on the front of the building...pictures Dickens, the Artful Dodger, Bill Sikes' dog and Little Nell enjoying the thrills of the Dickens World water ride. That's the same Little Nell who died of physical exhaustion at the climax of the Old Curiosity Shop...
Okay, now that is just wrong. Where are those sensitivity police when you really need them?

Actual rides/attractions at the park include (I am not making this up):
Animatronic show of Dickens' life
Fagin's Den preschool play area (no, I am not joking!)
Ebenezer Scrooge's Haunted House
Great Expectations boat ride/flume
Newgate Prison (well, a re-creation thereof, anyway)
Dotheboys Hall classroom, where kids can sit in desks and be yelled at
Six Jolly Fellowship Porters bar

D and I were inclined to wonder what else might entice the Dickensian-minded visitor. The Old Curiosity Gift Shop, perhaps? Fezziwig's Tilt-A-Whirl? A bungee attraction called The Drop?

Stuff and Nonsense

...I leave it to you to decide which is which.

D put me onto this Fars News Agency story posted in Sweetness and Light on Nicaraguan president Daniel Ortega's meeting with Iran's Foreign Minister. We can relax; all Iran wants is peace and justice. The U.S., of course, is the villain of the piece. Excuse me, but weren't we all assured that Danny had gotten religion and was a changed man? It's sounding an awful lot like Meet the new boss/ same as the old boss to me. (Hat tip for song line: The Who)

*****
Also in Sweetness and Light, Tehran is cracking down on women who push the limits of the dress code. Penalties include fines, lashes, and exile from Tehran (which some might actually see as a benefit!) The photo accompanying this post is edifying; the young lady being loaded into a paddy wagon could pass for a nun, yet she is nonetheless in violation.
In olden days a glimpse of stocking/
was considered simply shocking/
Now Heaven knows/
Anything goes!
(Hat tip for song line: Cole Porter)

*****
Mike Adams proposes a gun ownership option that he suggests could be acceptable to both pro-and anti-gun types: institute a concealed carry permit program as the only legal requirement for purchasing a gun. Eliminate all other permits. Probably won't make the anti-gun types happy as it does allow gun ownership, but nothing short of an outright ban is going to make some folks happy.

Adams being a pretty resolute gun-rights advocate, I was a little surprised to see him advocating this: it does, after all, impose restrictions on gun purchases. It strikes me as eminently sensible. While I support the Second Amendment, it seems to me that the right to purchase and carry a gun ought to be balanced by the responsibility of appropriate use. You can't legally get behind the wheel of a car without demonstrating some basic competence in driving, why should you be able to buy a gun without demonstrating basic competence in using it? You can kill people just as easily either way.

*****
Courtesy of my sister-in-law, this link to the site of
the "Real Borat." (Warning: Adult Content. More like Slightly Suggestive Adolescent Content, actually.) As far as we can tell, this is not a spoof; if anybody has info to the contrary, however, we'd love to hear it. SIL checked Snopes.com, but could find nothing either way.

The owner (and primary photo subject) of the site has mercifully refrained from attempting Borat's yellow-Speedo-over-the-shoulders beach look. Although he does look rather Borat-like, he also reminds me of the old Saturday Night Live "Czechoslovakian Brothers" sketches, in a way. I wonder if he's gotten any takers? I wonder if I'll need to go to Confession for posting this link?

Our Lady of the Wal-Mart

The Man With the Black Hat reports on a North Carolina artist who, "... intrigued by the public obsession with celebrity has found herself feeding that obsession with a painting of actress Angelina Jolie as the Virgin Mary hovering over a Wal-Mart check-out line."

"You really," he adds, "have to see it to believe it." He kids us not. Ay, ay ay.

Having acknowledged a special reverence for Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mr. Hat draws a comparison between that image and this one of decidedly non-miraculous origin. While he has a point to make in taking this tack and it is well-taken, I don't think that the apparition of Tepeyac served as inspiration for this particular bit of artistry. It looks to me a bit more like Sistine Chapel wannabee, right down to the intricately draped fabric of Angie's gown and her two adopted toddlers standing in as winged cherubim. My first thought on viewing this work was that the ideal medium for it really would have been black velvet. It's tempting to suspect that had the artist been twenty-five years older she would have specialized in heroic Elvises.

Okay, I'm not that dense. I realize that artist Kate Kretz's purpose probably isn't to glorify Ms. Jolie, but to satirize, if not in the most original fashion, our celeb-crazed society's glorification of her. I can't say for sure whether anti-Catholicism factored into her work. Mr. Hat, who has probably spent more time reading the lady's websites than I have, thinks she was likely "driven more by militant naivete than pure malevolence...It never occurs to [some people] that there may be more to that phenomenon than a mere collection of venerated images, a plaything for their vain attempt at kitsch." I'm inclined to think that he's correct. Certainly there is nothing about this painting remotely comparable with the infamous Virgin in elephant dung: it's kitschy, irreverent, and not in the best taste, but in my opinion it falls far short of blasphemy. A pious Catholic artist seeking to make the same point would have chosen other (hopefully less confrontational) imagery; I have to assume that Ms. Kretz is not one and didn't understand what C. S. Lewis referred to as "the peculiar and chivalrous sensibility" of the devout when they perceive an insult to our Blessed Mother. (Mere Christianity)

I am under the impression that Ms. Kretz's sensitivity faux pas has led to assaults on her blog comboxes, as her latest post indicates that she has closed them. Mild annoyance, I can understand, but orchestrating a campaign of howlers over something this trival seems to me a pointless waste of righteous indignation. Go out and march for Life, write the whole darn Security Council about the Darfur genocide, or just take two rosaries and call me in the morning, but for Pete's sake spare us the kinder, gentler version of the Mohammed Cartoon Outrage. If the lady has exhibited offensive ignorance, be too polite to notice. You don't have to buy her paintings.

Thus I would discourage protests, the sending of nasty emails, or any other expressions of excessive outrage. Such reactions are un-Christian, they make the rest of us who weren't carrying on look bad, and they tend to make the neutral and mildly anti-Catholic into hardened Roundheads. They also tend to be counterproductive in that rather than calling down censure upon the offender, they frequently draw attention to and increase that person's popularity.

When The Last Temptation of Christ first came out in theaters, my hip, charismatic (liturgically speaking) then-pastor felt it his duty to view and then review it for the benefit of the flock. The film itself he panned, not merely on its theology but on its cinematic points (or lack thereof.) But in reference to the cries of outrage that were echoing among some Catholic groups--and being magnified to our collective detriment by the offenders and their apologists --he offered this bit of philosophy: "God has gotten over bigger offenses than this."

Musical Interlude

C hasn't felt much like posting as she is getting ready for Christmas.
So, courtesy of our younger son, a musical interlude: An excerpt from Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons."

Alexi Laiho and Roope Latvala, guitarists

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few whales to go harpoon

I had noted without paying too much attention the election by the Episcopal church of Katharine Jefferts Schori as Presiding Bishop. This morning I came across a reference to a New York Times Magazine interview with her along with some selected quotes:


[Interviewer]How many members of the Episcopal Church are there in this country?

[Schori]About 2.2 million. It used to be larger percentagewise, but Episcopalians tend to be better-educated and tend to reproduce at lower rates than some other denominations. Roman Catholics and Mormons both have theological reasons for producing lots of children.

[Int.]Episcopalians aren’t interested in replenishing their ranks by having children?

[Schori]No. It’s probably the opposite. We encourage people to pay attention to the stewardship of the earth and not use more than their portion.


Aside from these somewhat backhanded remarks, most of the (very short and not terribly deep) interview reads benign, if overly sanctimonious. The above quotes (surprise, surprise,) were not well taken by commenters on Open Book, Catholic writer Amy Welborn's blog. They have led to some creative commentary, however, and a Cafepress mug I may have to drop hints about for Christmas. I'm in a quandry; I'd had my eye on Feminists For Life's Stanton and Anthony "Another humorless old biddy for life" mugs for a while and now they've got a competitor.

I dunno about everybody else, but I kinda like Kate. Having no natural skill myself in tact or diplomacy, I'm always heartened to learn of public figures next to whom I could appear to have kissed the Blarney Stone. It's a real self-image boost to realize one is not the planet's biggest verbal maladroit.

With my newfound confidence I'm considering issuing Ms. Bish a challenge. As one of those overprocreating Catholics who don't give a darn about stewardship of the planet, I'd like to propose she try a month or two of compacting the garbage for a household including four young children, one in diapers, into a 50-liter can. That's liters, not gallons. That's with pickup every other week. When she decides she's had enough, I'd be happy to give her some pointers. I did it for several years.

Vegetable Adulteration, or a sign of our anti-Christian times

The New York Times ran an article about NBC drawing criticism for planning to air a blasphemous Madonna concert (for her, nothing really new here - remember "Like a Prayer?") and for editing references to God out of the Veggie Tales episodes airing on Saturday mornings. I find the second infraction positively outrageous on two levels.

One does not draw a mustache on the Mona Lisa. The genius of the Veggie Tales is that it presents broad Christian values (ones that can certainly be accepted by most if not all denominations) in a format both appropriate for children and amusing for teens and adults (especially those adults who are familiar with Monty Python!). God, of course, is central, and if one misses the centrality during the story, the explanatory sequence at the end clears up any ambiguity on that point. It is beautiful art the way unabashed Biblical values are mixed with humor and music. Taking God out destroys that art.

What would Handel have done if he had been trying to sell The Messiah to the networks today? The Messiah was not written for the church, but for the concert hall. It just happens that it has a religious theme. Had he had to deal with NBC or one of the other networks, it might have gone something like this:

Exec: Georg, baby! I gotta say I love your new oratorio. Man, that "Halellujah" Chorus is going to be a big hit. Straight to the top, baby! Numero Uno with a bullet. And that's the sort of thing we like to have. There's just one teensy detail we need to work out, babe. You see, we need to have that broad appeal. We need to reach out to that crucial 18 to 35 demographic that makes our sponsor happy. You know what I mean? We've gotta tone down that God stuff. It makes the execs nervous and it might turn off some sponsors. Ya with me Georg, baby? How's about we change a word or two here or there -- instead of "the Lord God omnipotent reigneth," you have them sing something like "I just got my new car with low payments" or some thing like that. So, whaddya say?

On another level, I believe that the aduleration is just another reflection of anti-Christianism (not secularism or atheism) from the guardians of our popular media. The Madonna concert plays into this as well, but I expect to see Madonna offend. Perhaps Phil Vischer, one of Veggie Tales's creators, puts it best when he writes: ". . . it is a bit ironic that telling kids God loves them is 'not okay,' but singing a song while mocking the crucifixion is fine and dandy." Anti-Christian art is ok, Christian art needs modification before it is acceptable.
Hat tip to, of all places, The Huffington Post for leading me to the Times article.

A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful . . . .

I am not making this up -- these excerpts come from Regime Change Iran

Hezbollah’s Shi’ite youth movement, “The Imam al-Mahdi Scouts”

Hezbollah’s Shi’ite youth movement, “The Imam al-Mahdi Scouts,” has tens of thousands of members.

The Imam al-Mahdi Scouts1 are a Hezbollah youth movement which was established in May 1985, after the IDF withdrew from the security zone in south Lebanon . It has branches in the Shi’ite communities of Beirut , the Beqa’a Valley and south Lebanon . It received a permit for its activities from the Lebanese ministry of education in September 1992, seven years after its founding, and today they associated with the Federation of Lebanese Scouts. There are approximately 42,000 male and female Imam al-Mahdi scouts between the ages of 8-16 organized into 499 groups.

The emblem of the Imam al-Mahdi Scouts. The fleur-de-lis is the international scout emblem, however, every scouting organization adds its own elements. In this case the additions are two swords and a hand raised as if taking an oath. The inscription under the emblem reads, “Obey!”

[Who needs "Be Prepared" if you only have to "Obey!"]

The Imam al-Mahdi Scouts calendar is a particularly effective marketing device, and there is a series of booklets with titles such as “ Sharon the Evil One,” “The Story of Sayid ‘Abbas Mussawi, the Greatest Shadeed of the Islamic Resistance,” “The Jihad Youths” and others.

[I hear they sell popcorn, too. Varieties include "Beirut Buttered," "Western Decadence" (Chocolate covered), and the favoite
"Popcorn of Paradise" (Caramel). Buy Mahdi Scout popcorn -- it's the Tempting Treat of Tyre, just like Imam used to make.]

Love That Heavy Water -- Tehran, You're My Home

Found this on CaNN by way of A Daily Briefing on Iran . Check out either of those sites to find out the "health benefits" of refreshing heavy water.