Fab Four Festival Flops - A Second Installment of Mood Music

Ever wonder from whence your least favorite Christmas songs came? So do we, and rather than actually find out the truth behind the music, C offers the following (originally posted as a comment to Mrs. Darwin's quick take about Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime":

After not being able to get in the car or enter a store between Veterans' Day and Christmas last year without being subjected to "Wonderful Christmastime," I formulated a hypothesis for the source of its inspiration. While I can't prove anything, my scenario goes something like this:

Scene one:
The lights go up to reveal not-yet-Sir Paul in his studio on the phone. A large calendar on the wall clearly shows it is November 1.


Paul: What's that? A Christmas Special? An original song? When's the shoot? In a week? Well, I'll see what I can do.

Scene two:
Paul is now slumped over a piano, twiddling a pencil. Blank staff paper rests on the music stand. The calendar now has the dates of November 2-6 clearly crossed out. An ice cream truck passes by in the studio window, and a half dozen tinkly notes can be heard as it goes out of sight. He sighs, and scratches on the staff paper. He hums the theme once or twice.

Paul: Not bad. Now for some lyrics. Christmas. I need something Christmassy, but that won't bother anyone who isn't celebrating...(thoughtfully) have a merry...no, the rhythm's wrong...have a wonderful Christmas...better...(singing) may you have a wonderful Christmastime!

[The phone rings].
Paul: Yeah, yeah, it's ready to go! I'll see you in the morning. Toodles!

He addresses the staff paper with renewed vigor as the lights fade out.