Out of the Blue and Into the Black, or Back in Black Friday

Black Friday, the Friday after Thanksgiving, has become a somewhat troubling American tradition, making an unofficial start to a secular Advent of consumerism. We usually do as little shopping on "Black Friday" as possible, but since Hon Daughter No. 1 needed a ride to her job at a retail establishment, we decided to go in and look around.

We were browsing a display of recorded Christmas Music, when what to my wondering eyes should appear: A Billy Idol Christmas Album, Billy Idol, Happy Holidays! He is one of the last people I would expect to be making a Christmas record.

On the way home, a local classic rock station serenaded us with a traditional-sounding rendition of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
"Hmm, that sounds like Chrissy Hynde [of the Pretenders]." I guess parenthood can mellow anyone out.

So that got us wondering who else would we not expect to find in the Christmas Music business: Metallica came to mind. What would they sing?


Enter Santaman (to the tune of Enter Sandman)
by DMinor (apologies to Kirk Hammett, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Father Josef Mohr, Johnny Marks, Mel Tormé, Bob Wells and Clement C. Moore)

Full of joy, full of fun
for daughter and son,
tho' he sees everyone.

Up on his shelves, made by elves
(who keep to themselves)
toys for Santa's big run.

Sees the children hoping
Christmas will turn out right.

Beard of White;
Works by night;
Bag in hand,
His sleigh flies off across the land.

Rudolf's nose, a red light;
Reindeer-powered flight --
Al Gore says it's all right.

Chestnuts roast on a fire;
Hymns sung by a choir;
All is calm, all is bright, yeah

Sleep my children, hoping
Christmas will turn out right.

Silent Night,
Holy Night,
Flight is planned;
His sleigh flies off across the land.

(spoken)
'Twas the night before Christmas
('Twas the night before Christmas)
And all through the house
(And all through the house)
Not a creature was stirring
(Not a creature was stirring)
Not even a mouse
(Not even a mouse)

Hush little baby don't say a word
And you might get a toy Big Bird;
Transformer toys like in Japan
From a sooty red-dressed man.

Beard of White,
Works by night,
Bag in hand. . . .

Silent Night,
Holy Night;
Flight is planned,
His sleigh flies off across the land.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

His sleigh flies off across the land.
Bag in hand
His sleigh flies off across the land.
Flight is planned. . .

His sleigh flies off across the land.
His sleigh flies off across the land.
His sleigh flies off across the land.


Perhaps they could host a Holiday special with AC/DC (I heard Hell's Bells on Christmas Day), Judas Priest (Giving After Midnight ), and Sleigher.

Update: A Special Guest could be Twisted Sister, with their rendition of O Come All Ye Faithful. (Last entry courtesy of Foxfier. Many thanks!