Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Advice for the Overtaxed

Poor Tom Daschle. He could have testified before the Senate and had no problem, if he had only consulted Steve Martin for advice:

You.. can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You say.. "Steve.. how can I be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes?" First.. get a million dollars. Now.. you say, "Steve.. what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, 'You.. have never paid taxes'?" Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!" How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we don't say "I forgot"? Let's say you're on trial for armed robbery. You say to the judge, "I forgot armed robbery was illegal." Let's suppose he says back to you, "You have committed a foul crime. you have stolen hundreds and thousands of dollars from people at random, and you say, 'I forgot'?" Two simple words: Excuuuuuse me!!"

Does anyone have a copy of Timothy Geithner's testimony? Is it at all similar?

I heard the the President's "Performance Czar" also had to bow out because of tax problems. I've never heard of a performance czar before, but I have heard of performance art. Perhaps the next nominee should be Laurie Anderson.

Laurie's Fiscal Message:

Steve Martin quote found on SNL Transcripts.

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