Just Carrie On

Recent political developments have been too tempting for the parody department to resist. The protracted Democratic presidential nomination battle has made me wish I were back in Poli-Sci class, debating the "what-ifs."

[Note from C: Political developments, mon oeil. The origin of the following parody is entirely musical. While D and I both agree that Carrie Underwood's hit song Before He Cheats is pretty funny (if violent) and a catchy little number, we've also found that around here it suffers from that bane of pop music, Extreme Overplay. My saturation level was hit several months ago, so when we heard the song again the other day, I informed D that it really demanded a parody.

The only thing we needed was a topic...]

Without further ado:

Before He Chooses
by DMinor and CMinor

To the tune of Before He Cheats; apologies to writers Chris Tompkins and Josh Kear, and of course, performer Carrie Underwood.

Right now, he's prob'ly speech writing with a campaign hack
who has never been to D.C.
Right now, he's prob'ly buying up some thirty-second spots
that will say, "Just believe."
Right now, he's prob'ly out researching new campaign donors,
placed a call to George Soros.
And he don't know...

That I threw my hat into the ring,
and I crossed the whole country on a shoestring-
Made my name in nineteen primaries...
I was the first lady/coprez to Tomcat Bill-
Senator with an iron will-
Maybe he'll think of me as a VP.

Right now, he's prob'ly out lining up some
guest appearances on Letterman and Leno.
Right now, he's prob'ly thinkin' 'bout his ex-church
and realizing that he got lucky.
Right now, he's prob'ly looking up that freak Ahmad'nijad
or maybe Raul Castro
And he don't know...

That I threw my hat into the ring,
and I crossed the whole country on a shoestring-
Swept the polls in PA and West V...
I was the first lady/coprez to Tomcat Bill-
Senator with an iron will-
He better think of me for his VP.

It might've saved a little trouble if they'd picked me
as the party nominee --
Oh you know I could be VP!

'Cause I threw my hat into the ring-
crossed the whole country on a shoestring-
Won the Yoopers and Florida's retirees...
I was the first lady/coprez to Tomcat Bill-
Ran his machine with an iron will-
If I don't get VP, he'll be sorry.