Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Day Wisdom: A Kids'-Eye View

For the amusement of all, a selection of election day observations from The World According to Kids by retired schoolteacher Harold Dunn (1992, Spectacle Lane Press.) They are under the chapter heading "For Campains, Take Two Aspirants Every Four Years." It is eerie how astute some of these are:

The worst thing a candidate can do is to be told about a mistake he is making on some issue, but then keep making the same mistake over and over, etc., etc., etc.

Thin skinned is good in apples but bad in candidates.

Candidates are found in many sizes, shapes and meetings.

Political ties are just to get elected and not to wear.

The job of delegates is to resent their states.

When they talk about the most promising presidential candidate, they mean the one who can think of the most things to promise.

Political strategy is when you don't let people know you have run out of ideas and keep talking anyway.

Splinter groups are things that get in bandwagons.

A dark horse is a candidate that the delegates don't know well enough to dislike yet.

Noncommittal is to be able to talk and talk without saying anything.

Being nominated means watch out unless you don't mind being elected.

The campaign manager must have a smart head up his sleeve.

The trouble with candidates is I don't understand everything they say. Like sometimes they say words with four or five cylinders.

Political slogans are brief unnecessary sayings.

A candidate should renounce his words carefully.

I have found candidates to be extra talkity people.

Constituents are what people are except that they can be chickens of anything you can get to vote for you.

An improvised speech is to pretend like he is just now thinking of what to say.

Politician is the bawling out name for a candidate you don't like.

Campaigns give some people a great deal of happiness by their finally ending.

People get to vote but computers get to say who will be president. [NOTE: This viewpoint seems to be gaining large numbers of adherents in some secters lately.]

A split ticket is when you don't like any of them on the ticket so you tear it up.

We are learning how to make out election results known quicker and quicker. It is our campaigns we are having trouble getting any shorter.

Also-ran means goof in the language of politics.

[But lest you get too disheartened and decide to give it all up, remember:]

It may work for other choosings, but eeny meeny miney moe is not a good way for president choosings.

Thanks to democracy we now know that when a person votes he is somebody and not just a person because democracy teaches us everybody equals everybody else if they are Americans.

One good value of election campaigns is they let us know what problems we should be worrying about. And if we are not worrying, why we should be worrying.

Having the privilege to vote is so important it is just to appreciate, not to really understand.

Heredity is a bad thing in politics because it gets us kings instead of presidents.

[So get out there and do your civic duty. Because:]

The campaign is when the candidate tells what he stands for and the election is when the voters tell if they can stand for him being elected.

[The elder offspring have been threatening to write themselves in for County Soil and Water Conservation Supervisor, which is an open seat. I wonder if they'll have a new job by evening?]

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Anonymous Desmond said...

and hey, you forgot to add that candidates always promise to build a bridge even where there is no river :D

9:06 PM  
Blogger CMinor said...

Indeed--but I guess I should have clarified that the above "wisdom" was from primary school kids' assignments and tests. I'll add it in.

10:34 AM  

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