Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Your Attention, Please

It has come to the attention of The Minor Premise that the following opinion piece:

Why I Choose Not To Use a Car Seat

has recently been making the rounds on the Internet and doubtless causing irritation to safety advocates everywhere.

This essay has been duly reviewed by the literary analysis experts here at The Minor Premise, with the conclusion that the piece is in all likelihood mere parody composed with the intent of informing readers that breastfeeding is as important to infant health as is using a car seat. This purpose may be deduced by the simple substitution of the word "breastfeed" for "use a car seat," along with the substitution of some other lactation-related words for car seat-related words throughout. When this is done, the actual meaning of the essay immediately becomes clear. Thus there is probably no need for readers to get their undies in a bunch over it.

The Minor Premise finds the essay astute, if perhaps a little too smart for the room, and urges caution in the employment of irony without proper training in the genre. Our analysts would add that the essay is an excellent resource when one is preaching to the choir, but has the potential to be inflammatory if disseminated generally. While we do not disagree with its fundamental premise, we do urge restraint in using exhortations of this kind among persons who are not already fully informed about the health benefits of lactation as this may result in the lecturer's being regarded as something of a fanatic and thus have the reverse of the intended effect. We also suggest that the comparison is not perfect as the human organism is singularly ill-equipped for sailing through windshields at 60 mph, but in most cases is able to tolerate (though seldom without some health cost) moderate digestive assaults.

We here at The Minor Premise are unaware of any brochures being handed out with gift packs at maternity hospitals that contain instructions for automotive travel with unrestrained children. Having intimate knowledge of the adventure that is automotive travel with restrained children, we fail to see the appeal the other seems to hold for certain people. Breastfeeding your child, except while driving, is just fine by us.

You may return to your regularly scheduled blog reading.

--DMinor contributed to this report

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