Poll Reddy

Something that always raises my blood pressure is the attitude that a majority in a poll equals truth. It is usually leveled against a moral position by someone who perceives benefit from that position going away. Since those on folks are very often on the left, I note with some amusement the alarm with which the the left received the Pew research poll indicating that 18% of respondents believed President Obama was a Muslim.

To be honest, the President does not help himself in this regard with what appears to be partiality toward Islam, but what must be judged at attempts at even-handedness (or, if you like, relativism). Add to that the President's childhood in Indonesia (the most populous Muslim country in the world), some difficulty with aspects of American culture, and a little imagination, and you have a nice, tidy stealth Muslim conspiracy theory.

So, in light of the poll, the reaction, and the President's own difficulty with parts of the American culture, the parody department presents:

I'm Not Muslim
(to the tune of I Am Woman)
by DMinor, with apologies to Helen Reddy and Ray Burton

I'm not Muslim, and I'm sore;
Poll numbers to big to ignore
Say I pray five times a day while facing East.
But I've heard it all before
I've got no prayer rug on the floor,
And at Christmas time I light the tree, at least.

Oh ask Rev'rend Wright
'Bout my listening to his flames
At Iftar tonight
I'll take time to explain.
If they bring up
my Muslim middle name,
they are wrong.
I am the President
I'm not Muslim.

I can bow to Saudi rulers
And to Israel I'm cooler.
I'm determined to placate the Muslim world.
Meet Iran with no condition,
Even change up NASA's mission;
now it's outreach to the Muslim boys and girls.

Oh why do they fight?
Must I answer it again?
I can say my life
should make it more than plain.
Don't you bring up
That I'm Barack Hussein.
You are wrong.
I am the President.
I'm not Muslim.

I'm not Muslim, don't you know
When you see my baseball throw
I'm as Yankee as a winning soccer goal.
Cut my teeth on Malcom X
Had Bill Ayers write my book text.
A patriot down in my very soul.

Just ask Rev'rend Wright,
He can verify my claim.
I can say my life
could not make it more plain.
Not my call,
my Muslim middle name.
Is it wrong,
to favor basketball?
I'm not Muslim.

Oh, I'm not Muslim.
To be one is okay.
It's not wrong
To be Muslim
And an American.
Don't be wrong.
I'm not Muslim!