the minor premise

O Come Emmanuel

2011-11-27T17:49:00.000-08:00

Turkey Frank

2011-06-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

Seeing as one of the first parodies we posted at the minor premise was regarding the inappropriate use of messaging technology to send lewd messages to subordinates we could not resist the recent to-do over a certain married congressman's twitter correspondence with a young staffer. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Please Don't Tweet a Crotch Shot (to the tune of "Hit Me with Your Best Shot")
by Dminor and Cminor (apologies to Eddie Schwartz (composer) and Pat Benatar (performer))

Well, you're a New York Weiner with a long history
Of keeping New York's 9th for the party D:
Congressmen who are in their forties
Shouldn't send pics of their junk to hawtties.

Please don't tweet a crotch shot!
You shouldn't tweet a girl a crotch shot!
Please don't tweet a crotch shot
Put it away!

You're name is not Adonis; your looks are fair --
Don't want to see underwear.
Got to say that your best side
Is not in a place that clothing would hide.

Please don't tweet a crotch shot!
You shouldn't tweet a girl a crotch shot
Please don't tweet a crotch shot
Put it away!

Well, you're a Congress member; you would think you would know
That tweeting naughty pics means that you should go.
Before you took a risque shot with your camera phone,
You should have thought of your married life at home.

Please don't tweet a crotch shot!
You shouldn't tweet a girl a crotch shot
Please don't tweet a crotch shot
Put it away!

Please don't tweet a crotch shot!
You shouldn't tweet a girl a crotch shot
Please don't tweet a crotch shot
Put it away!

Burden Shifting

2011-05-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

A letter to the editor to the paper of the Diocese of Savannah sums up nicely the difference between charitable giving (a free act) and taxation for charitable purposes (a compelled act). Deacon Thomas Eden of Saint Joseph Church in Macon, Georgia asserts that we are spiritually called to see the "person of our Lord Jesus Christ in the sick, poor, disabled and hungry we encounter and act accordingly." However, we are not urged anywhere in scripture to shift this obligation onto the government, thus allowing them to choose whom to help. Deacon Eden writes "We are held accountable for our personal social action, and cannot escape it by selective community socialism that removes us from the participation of serving our brothers, with our time, talent and money. "

For examples of the effect of the replacement of donation with taxation, he looks to Europe and Scandanavia, which have "formed a tax structure that puts government n the position of choosing those groups of people and charities that get support." The countries with these policies have seen a marked decline in Christian and Catholic participation.

Check out the whole letter here on page 3.

An Occasion for Bartholemew Cubbins

2011-04-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

The recent royal wedding was inspirational to some; however I missed it entirely. I did read of the great fuss made over the hats worn (or not worn) by the female attendees. Having not posted in a great while, I decided to give the old parody pen another try.

Headgear Displayed
(to the tune of "Easter Parade;" apologies to Irving Berlin)
by Dminor

At the royal wedding
(They'll not be soon forgetting),
Oh what an odd assortment
of headgear displayed.

Some, "boats" perched on the cranium;
some, words will fail explaining 'em,
Ended up as fodder
For a critics tirade.

A bizarre review, it's a head-top zoo!
And somewhere off to the side,
I heard that there was
a royal groom and his bride

Oh, they're even hammerin'
on Samantha Cameron
whose tasteful dress but lack of hat
left critics dismayed.

I hope all had a Happy and Blessed Easter, and best wishes to the happy couple.

A sign unto you

2010-12-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

But for D, that music idea I had would have fallen completely flat. The best laid schemes of mice and men...

Fortunately, this came to my attention thanks to the Ironic Catholic. What a great community project!

Tinsillica

2010-12-28T19:49:00.000-08:00

Here's a little reprise of some some Christmas fun from 2009.

You Have Been Tagged . . . .

2010-12-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

A Merry and Blessed Christmas to all.

Random act of Christmas

2010-12-19T14:59:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to post Christmas music again this year just so my blogging doesn't go completely fallow. Lately, I've come across a few "Random Acts of Culture" videos in which incognito choirs burst into the Hallelujah Chorus in public places. I believe they've been very widely viewed, so for today I'm posting this less ambitious but no less enjoyable random act:

The improv group's site, linked at the video on YouTube, tells the story of how they pulled it off.

(Note: This performance also makes a good antidote to the Wonderful Christmastime video D posted below!)

Fab Four Festival Flops - A Second Installment of Mood Music

2010-12-16T20:56:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder from whence your least favorite Christmas songs came? So do we, and rather than actually find out the truth behind the music, C offers the following (originally posted as a comment to Mrs. Darwin's quick take about Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime":

After not being able to get in the car or enter a store between Veterans' Day and Christmas last year without being subjected to "Wonderful Christmastime," I formulated a hypothesis for the source of its inspiration. While I can't prove anything, my scenario goes something like this:

Scene one:
The lights go up to reveal not-yet-Sir Paul in his studio on the phone. A large calendar on the wall clearly shows it is November 1.

Paul: What's that? A Christmas Special? An original song? When's the shoot? In a week? Well, I'll see what I can do.

Scene two:
Paul is now slumped over a piano, twiddling a pencil. Blank staff paper rests on the music stand. The calendar now has the dates of November 2-6 clearly crossed out. An ice cream truck passes by in the studio window, and a half dozen tinkly notes can be heard as it goes out of sight. He sighs, and scratches on the staff paper. He hums the theme once or twice.

Paul: Not bad. Now for some lyrics. Christmas. I need something Christmassy, but that won't bother anyone who isn't celebrating...(thoughtfully) have a merry...no, the rhythm's wrong...have a wonderful Christmas...better...(singing) may you have a wonderful Christmastime!

[The phone rings].
Paul: Yeah, yeah, it's ready to go! I'll see you in the morning. Toodles!

He addresses the staff paper with renewed vigor as the lights fade out.

Mood Music

2010-11-29T20:29:00.000-08:00

Happy New Church Year -- Advent has begun! As the Ironic Catholic lets us know, Advent has its own moods, not necessarily reflected by the non-stop Christmas carols being piped into all the places of business. So, rerun from 2007, here is An Advent Carol:

The Ironic Catholic recently published a "conversion" of a secular Christmas song often heard in stores, dentists' offices, etc. into a proper Advent Carol. Not being able to resist the opportunity to do a song parody, I offer this Advent "conversion" experience:

"Happy Advent (We are Waiting)" by DMinor
to the tune of "Happy Christmas (War is Over)"
Apologies to John Lennon and Yoko Ono (but not many)

So this is Advent,
The Church Year's begun.
It's time to prepare for
The coming of God's Son.
And so during Advent
We pray and await.
The birth of the Christ Child
We anticipate.

We're getting set for Christmas,
Starting out this new year
We'll make it a good one
God is drawing near

And so for this Advent
Let's find time to pray,
In the midst of our shopping
And our busy day.
And so have an Advent
that reverently makes
us ready to greet Him
who died for our sakes.

We're getting set for Christmas,
Starting out this new year
We'll make it a good one
God is drawing near

So this is Advent,
The Church Year's begun.
It's time to prepare for
The coming of God's Son.
And so during Advent
We pray and await.
The birth of the Christ Child
We anticipate.

We're getting set for Christmas,
Starting out this new year
We'll make it a good one
God is drawing near

We are waiting
For the Christ Child
We await his birth

Politics Doesn't Take a Holiday, or Life is Just the Party

2010-11-25T15:44:00.000-08:00

Donald McClarey over at The American Catholic pointed out a Democratic "cheat sheet" for use at the Thanksgiving table when confronted with pesky Republican relatives. McClarey asserted that politics would be the farthest thing from his mind as he celebrated the holiday with his family. Frankly, there is nothing more hostile to the digestion than a confrontational discussion at the dinner table.

I offered the following contribution to the discussion:

It is baffling that, after the dressing-down the Democratic party received in the last election, they are still convinced they can sell this turkey of a platform. They will continue yam-mering until we are all vegetables. They made the mistake of thinking it was all gravy after the 2008 election, but the proof of the pudding is in the tasting. If they could have squashed the political talk on this American feast, they could have gotten down to meat and potatoes tomorrow. But perhaps they feel the sauce this Thanksgiving is a little thin, so they need to butter up the faithful and roll with the political punches. But we'll just relish their disarray passively today.

Wishing all a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving.

Feline and Block

2010-11-24T16:15:00.000-08:00

Technical Cats
by Dminor (apologies to T. S. Eliot)

Technical Cats come out to-night
Technical Cats come one come all.
My cellular phone's not acting right
It's saying something 'bout a function call

Technical Cats are gray and white
Technical Cats are big and small
Technical cats are rather bright
And pleasant to have fix a firewall

Technical Cats have business clothes
Technical Casts have glasses for eyes
They like to work on the Suns with Windows
They're fond of Apples, but not for pies.

Technical Cats don't crave attentions
Technical Cats can make phones ring
Technical Cats like their search engines
They're tops at Perl scripting and at networking.

Until a Technical Glitch appears
They pass their free time against Warcraft foes
Technicals went to school for years;
Technicals know where a router goes.

Technical Cats are old and young
Technical Cats mind their data pipe size
They know what to do when the printer's hung
Or what to do when the "UPS" fries.

They're quiet enough in the morning hours
They're quiet enough 'till they've had caffeine
It fuels their analytical powers
And brings them in tune with the troubled machine.

Technical Cats are gray and white
Technicals may (as I said) be small
If it happens to be a stormy night
You will hear them cry out "Save your work!" in the hall.
If it happens that the sun is shining bright
They might not know a thing about it at all.
They are inside applying themselves all right,
With a Technical mouse in their Technical paw.

A liberal application of Hairspray

2010-11-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

I like Harry Potter.
I like Hairspray (the musical. Haven't seen the John Waters original.)
I occasionally dabble in parody.
I mishear song lyrics, frequently to amusing effect (just ask my husband how Lesley and the Rev. Blue Jeans are, sometime.)
I wish I had thought of this. Darn it, darn it, darn it, I wish I had thought of this.

Not the only, nor even the first, Good Morning, Baltimore parody featuring Voldemort on the nets. But the unrivalled best, no room for argument, in terms of lyrics, performance, and production. Enjoy, ye Potter nerds!

(Alert: Innuendo aplenty. Don't share with the kiddos without first reviewing it yourself.)

Groping for an Answer

2010-11-19T22:56:00.000-08:00

The fuss and bother over the new airline screening machines and techniques have spurred the parody department into action:

Frisk You (to the tune of the Rolling Stones' "Miss You")
By Dminor (apologies to Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Billy Preston)

Find more artists like DMinor Music at Myspace Music

I'm on business far from home
Gotta leave for San Antone
But there's issues
The new scanners, what they show
is too private -- I say no!
But then they frisk you

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh

Well, I've been haunted in my sleep
TSA is in my dreams
with a clear view
of my good side and my bad
Doughnuts that I had --
Embarrassing!

I can just imagine they say
"Hey, what's the matter man
You're never passing up buffets,
Don't stop at just one plate, no! when you can manage to eat two.
I bet he needs a case of wine
to wash down all the fancy foods
it looks like he's used to"

Oh, and you know the wait's so long
Ooh maybe they might find one bomb?
Even one bomb! one bomb!

I've been singing those trav'lers blues
Taking off my shoes
Security's crazy.
Now the scanner's raised up the bars
Sees through underdrawers
Want to ask them, tsk tsk tsk,
"What's the matter with you boy?"

Somethings I want to keep to myself
But then they frisk:

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Please don't frisk me, child!

I guess I'm lying to myself
to think I can skip this hell
Lord, they'll just frisk your child.
To keep bra bombs off the plane
Bombshell's can't refrain
Or, they will frisk you, gropingly

Oh, they'll frisk you, child

Aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah
Aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah
Aaah aaah aaah aaah

Lord, you'll feel defiled

Aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah
Aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah
Aaah aaah aaah aaah

I detect a smile!

Aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah
Aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah aaah
Aaah aaah aaah aaah

Five Year Plan and Pulp Faction

2010-11-18T23:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Blogaversary to us! Five years ago (that doesn't seem possible, does it) I posted a test message expressing a hope to comment on "life, the universe, and everything." While we have not been consistent in our blogging efforts (sometimes out of necessity), we have kept it going as an outlet for our views on anything and everything. Hopefully it has provided some enjoyment and maybe even some useless information.

On that note, my eldest son, who is an aficionado of Japanese pop culture, explained to me that there was a manga series, Read or Dream, where the major superpower involved the manipulation of paper. "Finally," I observed, "a show where the heroes must all be bureaucrats.

Remember

2010-11-11T19:07:00.000-08:00

Remember the Argonne Forest.
Remember Iwo Jima.
Remember Frozen Chosin.
Remember Khe Sanh.
Remember the Marine Barracks, Beirut.
Remember Khobar Towers.
Remember the Cole.
Remember "Desert Storm," "Enduring Freedom," "Iraqi Freedom."
Remember who fought for you, who fights for you, who fights for freedom.
God Bless our Troops.

A Dawning of Day

2010-11-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

"I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least."
— Dorothy Day

Today's quote courtesy of Hon. Daughter number 1.

Remember the Saints

2010-11-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

All Saints' Day is a suitable time to remember the lives prematurely ended by abortion. Our blog friend Darwin, at Darwin Catholic directs us to the blog Pentimento's account of a move in New York City to put new rules on the advertising of abortion alternative facilities/ emergency pregnancy centers. What was most striking was a comment which told of a "slightly different abortion experience . ",

If you are a United States citizen, don't forget to exercise your franchise on the day of All Souls.

Hot Correspondence for Hallow's Eve

2010-10-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

For a long time now, I have marveled at the meteoric rise and, at least for now, fall of our current president. How could someone gain such a high office so quickly and with seemingly so few credentials? The letter below may shed some light on subject, but, given its origin, I doubt it has any real value to inform.

I have no intention of explaining how the correspondence I now offer to the public fell into my hands, but I offer it anyway.

My Dear Holeywood,

Initially I have been delighted with your success so far with your patient, but I must say that he has been aiding you almost every step of the way. You must guard against complacency, lest the Enemy steal your triumph from your outstretched fingers. I must say that crafting an early success, built on promises and the hopes of the downtrodden but on no real accomplishment was almost a stroke of genius. Stroking his ego every step of the way, surrounding him with people reinforcing his faults rather than challenging him was all very well played. Little did he know that the bargain he struck would be intended for his eventual eternal undoing and Our Father's delight. His unquestioning acceptance of all that the world would give him; power, fine things, celebrity, even adulation and worship, serve only to bring him closer to Our Father's House. The use of an international "peace" prize was a particularly elegant touch, even if some in our Realm thought it a bit overdone.

Perhaps by happy accident, you have helped your fellow toilers by sowing despair among so many of the 300 million souls in our region. For that I am sure you will win the grudging approval of your peers. They bought into hope and change, and it distracted many of them from that disgusting Hope that doesn't change.

Is it possible, however, that you are closing the trap too quickly. So soon after reaching his goal, was it wise to let his admirers desert him and his detractors gain in strength? Would he not suspect some wonderfully Diabolical motive to the rug of popularity flying so soon from beneath his feet? Wouldn't he suspect who it was that was behind such an unlikely rise if it were not sustained? Will he not sense that our promises were as fleeting as his, but with a more deliberate purpose? Our Father will not be pleased at all to have this victory snatched from his jaws. Even if your patient has not called upon Him before for help, or has ignored His invitations, it is the Enemy's way to turn deep adversity to His gain at the worst possible moment. The patient's adversity will pale in comparison to yours if this comes to pass.

Your affectionate uncle,
Gaptape

If They Come for Juan, They Can Come For Others; or National Public Restrainers

2010-10-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

Growing up in an area where the Washington Post was becoming the major newspaper, I learned to appreciate reasoned media viewpoints different than my own. Frankly, the shouting and name-calling that masquerades as debate really gets on my nerves, such that I usually can't watch/listen to very much of it. While I am more partial to commentators coming from the right side of the spectrum, there are a few who come from the left side that I can enjoy reading/listening to/watching and respect, without necessarily agreeing with their points. Retired columnist William Raspberry was one; Nat Hentoff was another. In electronic media, Juan Williams was always a favorite of mine from the left.

Apparently, he was not a favorite of his erstwhile employer National Public Radio. NPR's management bristled at his appearances at Fox News, a network which has drawn open enmity from the current administration. NPR fired Williams after his appearance on the Fox News' show "The O'Reilly Factor," where he expressed his fear of traveling with individuals in Muslim clothing. While NPR was and is within its rights to have a staff of its choosing, the firing smacked of enforcement of politically correct thought. So, rather than write a serious piece on Williams, his career, and the dangers of penalizing honesty, I decided to write a parody.

Juan (to the tune of "One," most recognizably recorded by Three Dog Night)
by DMinor, with apologies to Harry Nilsson

UPDATE: Audio now available

Find more artists like DMinor Music at Myspace Music

Juan was an NPR talker analyzing news.
Now the brass is mad at Juan
'Cause he honestly answered O'Reilly's question.

Oh, what he said was intolerant and he should know;
Yes, to fear Muslim-garbed terrorists is a "no-no."
'Cause Juan was an NPR talker, they know more than you;
Juan was an NPR talker, now he's through.

They just can't have anyone have an honest say.
Now he'll spend his time on Fox News' dime, and with great pay!

Juan's now their liberal, Yes now Juan is their liberal,
Good old Juan is their liberal talker analyzing news.
Juan's through with NPR, Juan's through with NPR,
Juan's through with NPR, honesty has won through.
It's just no good NPR, drive dissent away?

(Fox News) Juan's now their liberal,
(Fox News) Juan's now their liberal,
(Fox News) Juan's now their liberal thinker balancing their news.

(Fox News) Juan's now their liberal,
(Fox News) Juan's now their liberal,
(Fox News) Juan's now their liberal thinker balancing their news.

Slave's Wages

2010-10-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

For those who wish to see what real slavery is about, I submit this story of a Saudi prince's treatment of his "servant" while in the UK.

Whit's in a Name? or The Power of N

2010-10-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

There once was a candidate, Green,
Who suspected conspiracy mean,
With the ballots in sight, he
Cried "I'm not Rich Whitey!
It's 'Whitney' and has ever been."

While I'm not sure Mr. Rich Whitney can find the humor in his predicament, I certainly can.

Jay Leno, in his headline segment some years ago showed a campaign sign that read "Rich White, Republican." This was the candidate's actual name and appeared on the ballot. Too bad he wasn't running against a Democrat Red N. Poe.

Local newscasters eschew the diminutive when reporting on Aiken county's sheriff, Michael Hunt, despite the fact that his early campaign material used that form. Rich Whitney can thank his lucky stars he doesn't have to run under that name.

Straining at the Oratory

2010-10-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

I stopped by the blog of the Trousered Ape and found a reference to a poem written in honor of Independent (but formerly Republican) gubenatorial candidate Charlie Crist. There was one passage that particularly struck me as wrong. Since the neither Crist's site (where the poem resides) or Trousered Ape have a comment box, I post my reply here.

Reply to a Point in "The People's Independent"
by Dminor

A political poem
by James E. Tokely
said "Had Lincoln been a Democrat,
Might he still have set Black folks free?"

Had the poetic dullard
Read his history,
He would recall the Republicans
Were the abolitionist party.

The Democrats of the day
(Four-score years seven from the revolution)
Were very much in support
Of the Peculiar Institution.

When we wax poetic
And call on history in our verse,
We might want to actually read some,
Lest our poems turn out worse.

One more for the bulletin bloopers file

2010-10-03T11:04:00.001-07:00

I spotted this on an email for local pro-life events this month:

Living Rosary [held at the local Catholic high school football field]...Bring misquote repellent.

Were that not proofreading cautionary tale enough, this followed:

The Living Rosary is equally spectacular, if not more so.

Was that why we need the misquote repellent?

Unnecessarily Heating Up the Climate

2010-10-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

I watched a video "commercial" on YouTube the other day that was about as offensive a piece as I have seen in a while. I even refuse to link to it (acutally, as it turns out, it has been pulled). The video, produced by a British "climate change" group, was a terrible death fantasy whereby people who did not buy into the climate change dogma were horribly killed, on camera. I saw it as a thinly veiled threat to all who do not believe as they do. How many of these climate-change true believers feel the same way?

According to the climate change worrying site 350.org, the British climate group 10:10 produced and posted the video, but has since taken it off. The folks at 350, who are attempting to organize a "work day" on October 10th in every country in the world, were also appalled at the video and lamented its effect on their work.I don't know much about 350, and would bet that I would differ with them on most things. But I can respect their disgust and the repugnant video.

If you have not seen the video, be glad that you missed it.

Hot Water

2010-09-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

TEA or ME
by Dminor

Now it appears that the party of TEA
had some success in the late primaries
which has caused some distress, as all can see,
in a troubled, divided GOP.

A Moderate Element, the party of ME
is now in a conflict with the party of TEA,
and where they both run competitively,
the party that benefits starts with a D.

Polyglottal Stop

2010-09-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

Something for National Punctuation Day.

Language can be a funny thing, and the more languages you know, or with which you have acquaintance, the more fun you can have. For instance, my son used to call the highway near our house in Germany the "Stautobahn," combining the German words for traffic jam (Stau) and superhighway (Autobahn). Recently, my daughter brought back the following tale from French class.

A translation had the class in stitches. However, the sentence itself was not funny by itself.

Elle frappe, ma cousine, sur le vieux piano.

The student translator, however, forgot some very important punctuation, and the fact that French word order can seem a little backwards to speakers of English. The student's translation read:

She bangs my cousin on the old piano.

While waiting for our youngest to finish dancing this evening, C and I stopped off at the local Waffle House for coffee. The place was packed with a post football Friday crowd, and understaffed. So, we had time to take in a bit of the ambience. On the table was a bottle of the house salsa. I was initially amused because I didn't really think of a place that specializes in waffles and hashbrowns as being a place that would have its own salsa. The salsa bottle's lable read:

Señora Jackie's Casa de Waffle Salsa.

I read the lable aloud, pronouncing the word Casa to C's satifaction, but she didn't like my pronunciation of Waffle, saying a word like that would come out like Vah-flay if pronounced with Spanish sounds.
"Well, how would you spell it in Spanish, if you wanted to pronounce it closer to its English equivalent?" I asked.

C replied with this spelling: GUAFEL. The W sound exists in Spanish, but it is rendered GU, as in Guadalupe. Spanish words, she added, rarely if ever have a double F, and if a vowel is to be pronounced between the F and the L, you better put one there.

The word as she spelled it didn't call to my mind a toasty waffle, but looked like it belonged in cough syrup. It was sort of reminiscent of George Bernard Shaw's demonstration of the absurdity of English spelling. He spelled "fish" GHOTI. GH from the word "tough," O from the word "women," and TI from the host of TION words such as "convention."

"Well how about the first part of the label? If you pronounce that correctly, shouldn't that be Señora Hacky?"
"No, No, No," she said, "that should be Yacky, although you might want to spell it with a Y and a QU (Yaqui).

I stuck by my guns. "But a J is pronounced like an English H. Shouldn't it be Hacky?" Although, to be honest, I really don't want to eat anything from a Mrs. Hacky. It just doesn't sound appetizing.

He who has four and spends five. . . .

2010-09-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

A scary graph from the Congressional Budget Office:

While some might want to emphasize the projected coming together of the two lines, 2009 and 2010 just look plain ugly. For those who are into nominal values instead of GDP percentages, a percentage point equals $142 billion dollars in 2009 and $148 billion in 2010. That puts the 2009 deficit at about $1.42 trillion, and $1.33 trillion projected for 2010. Something is going to have to give . . ..

Data from the Congressional Budget Office.

Poll Reddy

2010-09-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Something that always raises my blood pressure is the attitude that a majority in a poll equals truth. It is usually leveled against a moral position by someone who perceives benefit from that position going away. Since those on folks are very often on the left, I note with some amusement the alarm with which the the left received the Pew research poll indicating that 18% of respondents believed President Obama was a Muslim.

To be honest, the President does not help himself in this regard with what appears to be partiality toward Islam, but what must be judged at attempts at even-handedness (or, if you like, relativism). Add to that the President's childhood in Indonesia (the most populous Muslim country in the world), some difficulty with aspects of American culture, and a little imagination, and you have a nice, tidy stealth Muslim conspiracy theory.

So, in light of the poll, the reaction, and the President's own difficulty with parts of the American culture, the parody department presents:

I'm Not Muslim
(to the tune of I Am Woman)
by DMinor, with apologies to Helen Reddy and Ray Burton

I'm not Muslim, and I'm sore;
Poll numbers to big to ignore
Say I pray five times a day while facing East.
But I've heard it all before
I've got no prayer rug on the floor,
And at Christmas time I light the tree, at least.

Oh ask Rev'rend Wright
'Bout my listening to his flames
At Iftar tonight
I'll take time to explain.
If they bring up
my Muslim middle name,
they are wrong.
I am the President
I'm not Muslim.

I can bow to Saudi rulers
And to Israel I'm cooler.
I'm determined to placate the Muslim world.
Meet Iran with no condition,
Even change up NASA's mission;
now it's outreach to the Muslim boys and girls.

Oh why do they fight?
Must I answer it again?
I can say my life
should make it more than plain.
Don't you bring up
That I'm Barack Hussein.
You are wrong.
I am the President.
I'm not Muslim.

I'm not Muslim, don't you know
When you see my baseball throw
I'm as Yankee as a winning soccer goal.
Cut my teeth on Malcom X
Had Bill Ayers write my book text.
A patriot down in my very soul.

Just ask Rev'rend Wright,
He can verify my claim.
I can say my life
could not make it more plain.
Not my call,
my Muslim middle name.
Is it wrong,
to favor basketball?
I'm not Muslim.

Oh, I'm not Muslim.
To be one is okay.
It's not wrong
To be Muslim
And an American.
Don't be wrong.
I'm not Muslim!

Dialect Material

2010-09-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

When seen from the outside, the U.S. is often viewed as a homogeneous place. Non-Americans have remarked to me about how great it is that in the vast area of the U.S. one needs only a single currency and a single language. While the currency advantage is indisputable, anyone who has traveled in the U.S. will tell you that, even setting aside recent immigrants mother tongues, regional linguistic differences can present a challenge. My eldest daughter has moved to an area of the country with which she had been previously unfamiliar. Among her accounts of the different weather and geography, she mentioned some linguistic differences. She admitted that she had anticipated some differences in accent, she had not anticipated certain vocabulary and usage differences. To my surprise, the one that annoyed her the most was their usage of "pop" for common carbonated soft drinks. In her experience, such things were always called "soda."

"'Soda' actually describes something in the drink," she asserted. "'Pop' is just an onomatopoeia. Just barely a real word."

As a certified old geezer (I have a child who has finished college and moved away), I was well aware of the "Pop" vs. "Soda" split, having had it brought to my attention when I traveled to Iowa as a boy. In fact, in 1996, there was a article on the subject written by Luanne von Schneidemesser, PhD in German linguistics and philology from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and senior editor of the Dictionary of American Regional English. In fact there is a web site devoted to the subject, and a U.S. map, derived from survey data from 2002 was available:

What surprised me about this map was how widespread the "coke" area was (I had previously assumed it was pretty much a Georgia phenomenon). Also of interest was that certain areas still called the soft drinks "dope," probably harkening back to the time when there was real dope (cocaine) in some soft drinks.

Information taken from 308 - The Pop Vs Soda Map and The Pop vs. Soda Page.

Why D and I Could Not Possibly Have Married Anyone Else

2010-09-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

That, or we've been together so long we're now interchangable.

I chatted on the phone with Hon. Daughter #1, now out in the Big World, earlier this week. She described an upcoming fundraising event for the domestic violence shelter where she works: a beer tasting.

Me (visions of drunken debauchery and violence dancing in my head): "What, are they trying to drum up business?"

Last night D was reading his Facebook page when he announced, "Hon. D. #1 updated her status. She says she's at a beer tasting."

Me: "Oh, yeah. That's a benefit for the shelter."

D (completely unprompted, I swear): "What, are they trying to drum up business?"

Railroad Revisited

2010-09-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

Donald McClarey on The American Catholic recounted his encounter with one of those ubiquitous spam emails attempting to garner ill-gotten revenue from an unsuspecting victim trying to garner ill-gotten revenue: A Nigerian Scam. Back in 2008 we wrote a parody on the subject, and actually made an attempt at a recording. Here it is for your listening pleasure:

Perfectly without Standards

2010-08-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

I've been playing with Haiku recently. I was mulling over the phenomenon in which non-believing critics point out the flaws in the religiously observant, and came up with the following:

A religious man
Always falls short. Atheist,
he can never fail.

A bite at the Apple

2010-08-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

Haven't had much time for putting together a decent post recently (although I am working on a parody -- let's hope it sees the light of day before it becomes irrelevant), but I did run across this little video tidbit from Fr. Johannes M. Schwarz of the tiny principality of Liechtenstein :

Model and Supermodel

2010-07-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

Way back when I was a college student and the Soviet Union existed, I concocted a way of predicting who would be the next Soviet premier. As a sophisticated student of political science I observed certain characteristics of Soviet premiers throughout history and made a model to predict future premiers. I called it "The Minor Rhyme Scheme."

The Soviet Premiers prior to my matriculation were

Lenin
Stalin
Malenkov
Khrushchev
Brezhnev

The model correctly predicted Yuri Andropov as the next Soviet Premier; therefore it was a successful model.

Another, more serious model for Presidential succession has been put forward by Professor Allan Lichtman of The American University. He proposes that if 6 of 13 keys are false, the party that has the White House will lose it. The list, with true/false indicators for the current president per Prof Lichtman, is as follows:

1. He has achieved a major foreign policy victory. (false)
2. His party will not lose seats in the House of Representatives. (false)
3. Per capita economic growth exceeds the two previous presidential terms. (false)
4. He is a charismatic or a national hero. (false)

5. There is no serious contest for the Democratic Party nomination. (true)
6. Obama has not presided over a major foreign policy failure. (true)
7. His administration has achieved "major changes in national policy." (true)
8. There is no significant third party or independent campaign. (true)
9. There is no sustained social unrest during the term. (true)
10. The administration is untainted by major scandal. (true)
11. The administration suffers no major failure in foreign or military affairs. (true)
12. The incumbent-party candidate is the sitting president. (true)
13. The challenging-party candidate is not charismatic or a national hero. (true)

In the March 26, 2010 edition of the Maryland Gazette, Prof. Lichtman says he can, using the model, predict now that Barack Obama will be reelected in 2012.

As you can see from the true/false indicators, Prof. Lichtman has taken as fact things that are likely, but that have not already happened. Some of his predictions on the factors are stronger than others:

2. His party will not lose seats in the House of Representatives. (false)
It is extremely rare for the party in the White House not to lose House seats in the mid-term election. He's on pretty sure footing on this one.

7. His administration has achieved "major changes in national policy." (true)
One can certainly argue, with the passage of the Obamacare bill, that the administration has achieved this goal. However, unlike most initiatives, the "beneficial" aspects of the bill lag far behind the costs to the public. This indicator presupposes an electorate that is in favor of the change and can feel its benefits. I do not believe this will be the case in 2012, and the further promise of good things to come will not stir the electorate.

10. The administration is untainted by major scandal. (true)
For this indicator it is way too early to tell. Even if you believe the President personally is above scandal, you cannot believe that all of his appointed staff are incapable of causing embarrassment to the boss to the point of enraging the electorate. This factor should be weighted so that scandal breaking closer to election day (i.e. October Surprise) counts more than one that breaks 24 months prior.

13. The challenging-party candidate is not charismatic or a national hero. (true)
This one is the biggest stretch. Predicting who the Republican party will nominate more than a year before the first primary is dangerous territory. Remember, the odds on favorite at this stage of the run up to the 2008 election was Rudy Giuliani.

Allan Lichtman is a Democrat and a former unsuccessful candidate for the Democratic nomination for Senate. Doubtless he wants Obama's reelection and wants to put his marker down early. But even with a good system, basing predictions on other predictions is fraught with peril.

By the way, in my Soviet model, I had no basis for predicting Konstantin Chernenko's assent to the Premiership, because Andropov completed the second AAB pattern. And for the next premier, the Rhyme Scheme predicted Gromyko instead of Gorbechev, who should have been second in line. So Gorbachev not only broke the Soviet Union, he also broke the Minor Rhyme Scheme.

The Evolution of an Irish Ballad

2010-07-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Being the surmises of a musical amateur who has lately spent entirely too much time online trying to track down folk music lyrics.

Gen. 1. The Irish take on the British in a battle somewhere on Irish soil. Being seriously outnumbered, they are defeated utterly with great loss of life. Anonymous Irish balladeers compose lyrics honoring the courage of the dead, with individual verses devoted to units from each county involved and to fallen leaders. The result is about 40 verses long, though only six or seven are actually remembered by anyone after the debut.
[Alt. Gen. 1. A minor Irish nobleman takes to the hills after a dustup with British occupiers. Anonymous balladeers compose a mercifully brief ditty depicting the outlaw as a romantic hero and emphasizing his revolutionary cred and sheer heartthrobbiness.]

Gen. 2. The simplified lyric becomes a popular drinking song.

Gen. 3. Early Irish immigrants carry the ballad to the New World, where an English version of the lyrics that may or may not have anything to do with the original is composed. This translation is unequivocally a drinking song and includes wordplays that are hilarious after a quart or so of beer and a rollicking chorus that encourages audience participation.

Gen. 4. Sometime during the nineteenth century, a political campaign borrows the tune and composes a new set of lyrics praising their candidate.

Gen. 5. Frontier musicians develop yet another set of lyrics to the tune. The result is a song about clams.

Gen. 6. Pete Seeger borrows the tune and composes lyrics (a.) in praise of labor unions, (b.) opposing war, or (c.) warning of the dangers of atomic energy. He performs it at a rally devoted to the issue.

Gen. 7. The Irish Rovers record a wacky rendition of the drinking song.

Gen. 8. Rory Cooney borrows the tune and rewrites the lyrics as a hymn of which the liberation theology undertone is hard to ignore.

Gen. 9. Garrison Kiellor rewrites the lyrics as a tongue-in-cheek look at ordinary, modern-day life and performs the result on Prairie Home Companion.

Gen. 10. The Dropkick Murphys yell the whole thing to pipes and shred guitar.

Shot to the Cup

2010-07-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Spain for winning the world cup, the Dutch for a great run, and especially the South Africans for a successful tournament, and a new word in my vocabulary.

The World Was Watching, 2010

The final whistle's blown,
The final contest won.
The Spanish team has shown
Who's best. The world had fun.

To the Dutch dismay
And four-year pain,
The World Cup, it goes to
The native boys of Spain.

And, should I live as long
As Biblical Methuselah,
I don't think that I want to hear
Another darn Vuvuzela.

Gratuitous Namedropping

2010-06-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

The Ironic Catholic has published her book, Dear Communion of Saints and is hosting a virtual book launch party at her blog today!

(While the odds of anyone actually coming to this blog and reading this announcement are remote, I'm posting it nonetheless as I want to be in her "free book" drawing.)

Mossgathering, or Why Doesn't That Darn Muse Ever Call Before Dropping In?

2010-06-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

The minor premise professes no little perplexity regarding the circumstances of General S.McChrystal's recent departure from the Afghan theater. Was it poor P.R. management? Rank insubordination? A sacrifice bunt? Ya got us.

Doubly perplexing was the odd effect of the news on people in the 40-55 age demographic. Since news of the incriminatory Rolling Stone article that set in motion that shotgun change-of-command sequence hit the stands (there's an idiom that puts me squarely in the 40+ demog) both D and I found our personal mental soundtracks immovably stuck on Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show's 1972 hit The Cover of the Rolling Stone. I'm talking all day long without interruption. (The honorable daughters attempted to exorcise me after lunch yesterday with a Flight of the Conchords tune, but, alas, relief was only temporary.) What was truly eerie about this potentially maddening situation was D's discovery at work yesterday that quite a few of his colleagues in that age group were experiencing the same phenomenon (some were irritated to find that they couldn't remember all the lyrics and thus were plagued constantly by just the chorus.) So we're astonished to find that, thirty-eight years after its release, the song seems to be a deeply imbedded cultural meme. Heaven help me should this phenomenon ever trigger similar effects with anything in the Human League discography.

As we've found in the past that earworm removal can sometimes be accomplished through parody , we decided to give it a try. Though we're not quite finished, (to remain true to the original we'll need a third verse) I figured we ought to go ahead and post what we've got now, adding the rest once we've worked it out (which won't be before we have some time to kill later tonight.) I don't want any other fortysomething frustrated lyricists accusing us of intellectual property theft just because some of us around here have to put in a day's work.

Update: Okay, the whole shebang is posted. Now to get off this machine before the absolutely bodacious lightning we're getting fries me at the keyboard.

Covered By the Rolling Stone
by DMinor and CMinor,
Sung to the tune of Cover of the Rolling Stone
with profuse apologies to the memory of Shel Silverstein and to the various members, living and deceased, of Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show. Sorry, guys, there was no other recourse!

Well, I’m a pro at wars,
I’ve got four gold stars:
They salute everywhere I go.
I order divisions and I order brigades—
I pretty much run the show.
I have at my command
A coalition so grand
That you wouldn’t think I’d be thrown—
So you might not figger
That my trouble’d get bigger
Bein’ covered by the Rolling Stone.

(Rolling Stone…)
Didn’t think my boss had too much gumption;
(Rolling Stone…)
Now that thought is out there for consumption
(Rolling Stone…)
Since I went and made my case
‘Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone.

I’ve got a top-notch battle plan;
Karzai thinks I’m the man;
By my troops I am admired.
But when I have to haggle some admin hack
I wish I were retired.
They muck up my job—
That incoherent mob—
And they’re useless when I phone,
So it takes no explainin’
How my bitter complainin’
Wound up covered by the Rolling Stone.

(Rolling Stone…)
How’d a music rag get on this beat, now?
(Rolling Stone…)
Back to D. C., gonna take some heat, now.
(Rolling Stone…)
‘Cause the White House I disgraced
'Tween the covers of the Rolling Stone.

Now, there’s a lot of petty, loudmouthed
Talk show pundits
Who’ll twist everything I say,
And some genu-wine network anchors
Who’ll love that I’ve got Hell to pay.
But my staff and I
Spoke our minds; that’s why
I’m losing the command I own.
My career, they detached it
With a lefty stooge’s hatchet
Who was writing for the Rolling Stone.

(Rolling Stone…)
Now I’m done with military service
(Rolling Stone…)
They can’t hush me; that’ll make ‘em nervous.
(Rolling Stone…)
If Petraeus ain’t embraced
He can always call the Rolling Stone.

[Repeat chorus and fade]

Something Fishy

2010-05-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

As I was driving out in the country near a lake the other day, I came upon a gas station/convenience store with the following on the marquee:

Cappuccino
Bait

I'm not sure what this says about the good old boys going fishing, or about the South in general, but I can't think that this store would have been selling cappuccino 20 years ago.

L'Etat, Ce N'est Pas Vous

2010-04-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

There seems to have been a little ruckus over what rhetoric can be used against the current administration. Much has been made over the use of the term "regime," which the Left used to pejorative effect during the George W. Bush Presidency. As I recall from high school civics, an administration operates within a regime. Theoretically, we have had the same regime since 1789, but those who have administered the regime have changed periodically throughout the years. Only if the U.S. Constitution were abandoned would we have grounds for accurately saying that the regime has changed.

But, of course, accuracy has little to do with political journalism any more, and, as if to prove this point, Joe Klein accused opposition politicians and talk show hosts of sedition against the United States. The parody department could not pass up such an opportunity, and has produced the following, sung to the tune of "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof.

Tradition
by Dminor (apologies to Jerry Bock, Sheldon Harnick, and Joseph Stein)

[JOE KLEIN AND JOHN HEILEMANN]
Sedition, Sedition! Sedition!
Sedition, Sedition! Sedition!

[GLEN BECK]

When is it right to criticize Obama
Go against his wishes, rise up in dissent?
And who has the right to speak against the house
and senate to protect our home?

The Public, the Public! Sedition?
The Public, the Public! Sedition?

[RUSH LIMBAUGH]

Who must raise a flag to make an objection,
a rejection, some dissention?
Who must sound alarm when trust has been betrayed
The Constitution's tenets are ignored?

Citizens, Citizens! Sedition?
Citizens, Citizens! Sedition?

[SEAN HANNITY]
Since way before the Civil War we've always had dissent.
But now they've picked a leader who cannot be opposed.

[SARAH PALIN]
And does the Party teach to follow and obey,
Forgetting that to dissent is our tradition's way?

Politics, Politics! Sedition?
Politics, Politics! Sedition?

Deep in the Heart of Taxes

2010-04-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

In 2009, according to a Gallup poll, 48 percent of Americans believed that they were paying the right amount of Federal Income tax. In that same year, CBS claimed that 43.4 percent paid no federal income taxes. Some even received money they did not pay into the system. This year, the level of federal tax satisfaction has gone down to 45 percent. Now the breakdown by income level does not support the notion that those who pay no federal income taxes are the ones who believe they are taxed at the right level, but it is interesting that the lines intersect as they do. Perhaps I'll ponder this over a cup of tea . . . .

To Save A Life Is Pretty Good, Actually

2010-02-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

I don't review movies all that often, but I'm making an exception in the case of To Save a Life. I feel the need to put my two bits in on this one largely because of the critical material I'm finding on it on public sources. To put things simply: critics hate it, moviegoers love it. At Rotten Tomatoes, for example, the critic rating as of this writing is 31% positive (4 of 13), but the user rating is 92% positive (49 out of 53).

That's not that unusual, particularly with Christian films: many critics are secularists and most moviegoers who bother to see Christian films at all are Christian and maybe just a teensy bit biased in their favor. Moreover, Christian films tend to suffer the effects of low budgets even when the writing is good.

Before I go off preaching on films and criticism, I'd better come right out and and admit that I don't get to the movies much. I also haven't kept up with the fairly new independent Christian film movement. I saw Amazing Grace on vid and liked it, though the parade of historical characters kept me flipping madly through Britannica for half of it. But I'm generally reticent about theater films. My feeling is that if I'm going to sit in the dark for a couple of hours and can't even bring along knitting, I'd better be seeing a world-class bit of cinema--no smarmy writing or ham actors allowed.

My film viewing choices therefore tend to be subject to the advice and occasional whims of others. Hon. Daughter Number One, a certifiable film junkie, got me into Up by declaring "You have to see Up." So there. (I really liked it.) But when a couple of months ago I considered attending a showing of Facing the Giants at our parish I was stopped dead by said daughter:

"It's Prosperity Gospel fodder," she pointed out. "Look, at the beginning of the movie the protagonist isn't a Christian. His football team sucks, his wife can't get pregnant, and his truck is broken down. By the end he's accepted Christ, his team wins, his wife is pregnant and somebody gives him a new truck. You know real life isn't that simple. It's bad theology." Thus I still have to plead ignorance of that film and its companion, Fireproof, although I feel I should watch them out of regional loyalty. Not that that helps the Falcons much.

Recently, though, our parish youth director started promoting To Save A Life. I was intrigued, and started reading what I could find on it. I noticed that an LA Times critic, going against the grain, had reviewed it favorably, and that several of the negative critics' reviews couldn't seem to get past the film's religious bent to review it on its merits as a film. That was irritating. It's often enough a critic or other film "expert" weighs in on singularly repulsive subject matter in a film with commentary along the lines of:

"Of course the message of Birth of a Nation can't be condoned, but Griffith's directing was inspired..."

Thus I went and saw To Save a Life and thus follows my opinion of it, as concise and free of spoilers as I can get it. Disagree with my viewpoint or Christianity or the directing if you must; at the very least the message can be condoned. I, for one, think the message and the film are both worthy of praise.

The story, first of all, is believable. Some liberties are taken in the interest of condensing it into a film (it's rare we receive two earthshattering pieces of bad news in one afternoon, after all, and repeated kegger scenes--after the cops raid one, why don't the rest of the 'rents figure out putting the kid in charge when you leave town for the weekend is a bad idea?--give the impression that all these kids do is party, party, party) but the film doesn't lose much realism by condensation. In a couple of hours it comes to grips with most of the big issues teens today have to deal with: bullying, cliques, suicide, cutting, drinking, sex, pregnancy, figuring out where God fits into it all, and keeping the faith when it would be easier to give up are explored with compassion but not sentimentality.

The characters are realistic. I've read that the script was written by a youth pastor, and I can tell he's been paying attention to his kids. The young actors look, talk, and act like real teenagers. [Note: This opinion has been independently confirmed by five or six real teenagers from Hon. Daughter No. 2's youth group.] The Christian teens are thankfully far more normal than those usually portrayed in secular productions: they can't be singled out of the student body by excessive modesty in dress and tease each other spiritedly, if without the venom seen in other characters. The two villains of the piece, an obnoxious jock and a preacher's son who's a sort of stoner Uriah Heep are a bit unidimensional in their nastiness, but they're not major characters, either. The acting is good, especially considering most of the cast seem to be relative unknowns. (Hon. Daughter No. 2 thought she'd seen the actor who played Johnny Garcia in something, but didn't recognize anyone else.) Nobody overacts, thank goodness.

Cinematography is professional and very well done. Multiple-angle shots of keg party scenes are used effectively to evoke the chaos of the events. Tricky shooting isn't overused, though, and the camera work enhances the storytelling rather than overwhelming it.

The film isn't preachy. Yes, the protagonist's personal crisis leads him to faith, and yes, the hip youth pastor preaches a few times during the film. That doesn't make it preachy, unless you think a youth pastor exhorting his charges to care about the kids nobody else cares about in the wake of a teen suicide is preachy. The film is overtly religious, but it's nonsense to suggest that it beats the viewer over the head with that perspective. If anything, it's brutally honest about sincere doubt and the reasons that drive many people away from church. And it doesn't sugarcoat the fact that Christianity is not a get-out-of-misery- free card.

One of the most refreshing aspects of the film is its depiction of a multiracial community in which race doesn't seem to be a big deal. The church and youth group scenes show a more diverse congregation than I suspect is found in most churches (that is, unless they're Catholic!) The youth pastor models a fulfilling Christan marriage that is also interracial; though his wife appears in only a few scenes their sense of partnership is evident. Even at the high school, cliquiness isn't explicitly along racial lines. (I discussed this with one of our Youth Group Moms, who is black, however: she felt that race could be a factor in an early scene in which girls invite the protagonist to a party but tell him to get rid of his black friend Roger. I see Roger as an object of scorn among "coolies" of all races because of a physical handicap, but I suppose the scene is open to interpretation.) In any case, I think the scenes of the church kids and the youth pastor's home life beautifully depict real "no Gentile or Jew" Christianity.

So regarding To Save a Life, I'm gonna have to give a thumbs down to the critics who panned it, and a thumbs up to anyone who found something positive they could take away from it. It's unquestionably a good movie for teens to see, but it's well-done and smart enough for adults as well. If you're an adult with a few teens in your life, take them, and after you've seen the film go discuss it over coffee or ice cream. If you've been feeling a little un-hip about their day-to-day concerns, I guarantee it'll be a worthwhile outing.

Football for the Novice

2010-02-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

In honor of Superbowl XLIV the minor premise goes into the Wayback Machine to find Andy Griffith's 1953 football classic, brilliantly illustrated with cartoons from the Golden Age of Mad Magazine:

Two from the Road

2010-01-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

When is free speech not acceptable? When it might be unfavorable to the pro-abortion standpoint, and when millions of Americans might hear it. According to David Crary of the Associated Press (by way of the Huffington Post), the Women's Media Center has complained to CBS about an ad set to run during the Super Bowl. The ad, taken out by Focus on the Family, celebrates the life of Heisman Trophy winning Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow. Tim's mother, Pam, fell ill on a mission trip while pregnant with Tim, and was advised to abort him. She did not, and Tim turned out to be a great athlete and a promoter of Christian values.

The group's complaint is that a sporting event is no place for abortion discussion. In this case, however, the discussion is not about abortion, it is about the other choice: life. I say we need more speech like this.

As a bonus, a little Obeatle music via Moonbattery.

Avian roundup

2010-01-23T19:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: Good-sized flock of American robins hanging around the backyard and feeders.
Today: In addition to the robins, which are still around, we have a mixed flock of redwing blackbirds and brown-headed cowbirds. I think they've actually been around a couple of days; two days ago I noticed a blackbirdy-looking (and sounding)flock in the trees on the next street over but they were too far off for me to get a good ID. I think there are a few common grackles among them as well; I've only seen one of those at a time so far.
There was a female ruby-crowned kinglet hanging around the front-yard feeder this afternoon--I only see those occasionally so I'm hoping to see more of them.

Half-Court Shot

2010-01-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

So much has happened in such a short time. Scott Brown takes "the people's" senatorial seat in Massachusetts and the dynamics of the Senate are changed. The U.S. Supreme Court rules (5-4) that current federal regulations on corporate contributions to political campaigns violate the First Amendment, basically saying corporations can engage in independent political speech, but they cannot do it anonymously.

Too much to digest all at once. But one thought re the complaint that the Citizens United v. FEC decision overturns previous decisions dating back to 1907: was not this can of worms opened when the Court overturned the odious "separate but equal" precedent (Plessy v. Ferguson) in Brown v. Topeka Board of Education in 1954? A liberal colleague had argued for increased "legislative" rulings from the supreme court on the basis of Brown and of Roe et al v Wade (she was obviously pro abortion). As happens so many times in U.S. politics, the shoe is on the other foot.

Floored Drawers

2010-01-16T19:56:00.000-08:00

An great Neil Young impression by Jimmy Fallon. American Idol viewers and pop-culture watchers will recognize the lyrics written by "General" Larry Pratt, of Atlanta.

Here's wishing Mr. Pratt well. Somewhere Andy Warhol is looking on . . . .

Love for Haiti

2010-01-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

By now all readers are probably aware of the earthquake disaster in Haiti. With no major earthquake activity for the past 200 years and the generally impoverished nature of the country, Haiti's urban buildings were particularly vulnerable to damage and collapse. Initial reports indicate a potential for great loss of life. In addition to prayers, those away from the site of the disaster can help by donating to appropriate charities. We have contributed to Food for the Poor, a Catholic charity with experience in Haiti and a less than 3% overhead rate. In addition to Food for the Poor, the following charities are also taking donations for Haitian relief:

(List taken from The Anchoress)

Catholic Relief Services
United Methodist Committee on Relief
The Red Cross
Salvation Army
Providence in Haiti
American Jewish World Service
Lutheran World Relief
Cross International
World Vision
International Orthodox Christian Charities
Beyond Borders
Mercy Corps
Partners in Development

Timing is Everything

2010-01-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

Often the Protestant and secular community don't understand why Catholics leave their Christmas decorations up so long. If they are so bold as to ask, they will find that Christmas, instead of being a single day, is a season in the Catholic calendar. So, in the spirit of this explanation and to mark the official end to the Christmas season, the parody department has reached back to the 60's and used a Diana Ross and the Supremes tune for inspiration.

Christmas Ends with Epiphany
(to the tune of "I Hear a Symphony," apologies to Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier, Edward Holland, Jr., and Charles Wesley)
by Dminor

We waited all December,
And every day I remembered
That the seasons, in order:
First is Advent, then comes Christmas.

Our Christmas decor
Lasts 'till Epiphany;
A twelve-day jubilee,
Not about Santa;
Santa isn't it.

Oh Christmas time, ends on Epiphany;
Ooh twelve days for child divine;
Yes, we should take the time,
'till we leave it all behind.

The rest of the world
wants to just move on.

Our Christmas decor
Lasts 'till Epiphany.
Play and sing joyfully
Until January 6th, now baby.

Holy Baby;
He brings much peace and joy;
He's Mary's Baby boy.
Christmas goes on and on and on.

The Holy Baby,
Savior that came to earth,
To give us second birth,
And he's the one we call Emmanuel.

Our Christmas decor
Lasts 'till Epiphany.
After three kings appear,
We can make final Christmas cheer and clean up.

Maybe, Maybe,
If our spirits are high
Christmas will live in us
Long after the parties and the fuss.

Now baby, baby,
Holidays have to end;
Epiphany's the end.
Ooh that's when it ends, baby, baby.
Christmas, Christmas
Ends on Epiphany;
A twelve-day jubilee.

Starting Off the Year With Yard Eco

2010-01-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

There was a flock of cedar waxwings in the front yard this morning at about 9:30. I hadn't seen any in quite a while. They didn't spook easily; some of them sat coolly above me in the Bradford pear as I strolled up the front walk. As I got to the door the lot took off and headed across the street to another cluster of trees. Peterson says they eat berries and insects, both of which we have plenty: holly, nandina, juniper, and those oddball little Bradford pear fruits.

A robin has been hanging around the yard; I first noticed it yesterday then again this morning with the waxwings; that's the first this year. If the weatherman is correct, it'll wish it had stayed farther south next week.

Many Happy Returns

2009-12-28T21:29:00.000-08:00

So often the "race to return" dominates commercialist after-Christmas activities. While I don't care for that scene at all, I do like this send-up of the old "Twelve Days of Christmas" carol, which chronicles the returning and otherwise disposing of the well-known "twelve days" gifts. I sang this piece with my college-community choir way back when and still enjoy the humor.

News from Mt. Crumpet

2009-12-25T18:56:00.000-08:00

No survey of Christmas music would be complete without the Dr. Seuss song, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch." And no survey of Internet music would be complete without Tay Zonday. Hat tip to No. 1 son!

The minor premise feels it necessary to state that, while professing admiration for Mr. Zonday's performance, it does not agree with his soapbox at the end. Everybody knows the Grinch's problem was a two-size cardiac insufficiency, not the economy.

Jingle Bell Rocky and Christmas Balls

2009-12-25T18:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Boxing Day everyone! As a departure from C's more serious offerings, I give you Rocky and Balls' Song about Christmas songs, The Christmas Song Song. This song provides way in which you can get all of your caroling done in one sitting, which is convenient if you have other things to do.

Thanks to No. 1 son for pointing this one out.

How many hats (and moustaches) do they go through during this song, anyway?

Christmas

2009-12-23T20:27:00.000-08:00

The Mandragora children's Choir performs Robert Southwell's "This Little Babe" from Benjamin Britten's Ceremony of Carols. Beautiful!

From North of the Border

2009-12-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

Today's offering is the Huron Carol, sung in Wendat (Huron), French and English. This song was written by Jesuit martyr Jean de Brebeuf (and set to a French folk tune) to explain the Nativity to the Huron (now Wendat or Wyandot) Indians to whom he ministered.

By the way, we did this piece in our church handbell choir back when that was still extant and it is a fun ring!

[Strangely, I seem to have started with Siouxie and wound up, if not at the Sioux, then close enough. I also managed to venture north of the Great Lakes without bringing up the McKenzie brothers' version of the Twelve Days of Christmas, of which I am duly proud.]

That Mountain Music

2009-12-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

Today, a mountain dulcimer interlude. First is the lovely "Coventry Carol." In about 20 years maybe I'll be able to play this well. I'll need a long calico dress and sunbonnet, work boots, and a corncob pipe to complete the look then.

For an encore, what could be better than kids with dulcimers? They sound great, and li'l bro's windmill strum at about 1:o8 is amusing!

Moving in a More Traditional Direction

2009-12-19T15:47:00.000-08:00

From Sting's new album of Christmas and winter songs, If On A Winter's Night, here is the beautiful 15th Century German carol, Lo, How a Rose (please excuse the ad--this was the only recording I could find.) I'm quite excited with the way Sting has done this album, with traditional instruments and arrangements. Yet it still sounds very Sting, and you wouldn't mistake the original songs for anyone else's.

What The Hey? Christmas Edition, or, Out of the Blue and Into the Black : The Saga Continues

2009-12-18T16:57:00.000-08:00

Can someone please explain to me what could possibly have possessed first-generation punk rockers Siouxie and the Banshees to cause them to record a Christmas carol? And to play it more or less straight? The band looks a little bored, I'll grant, and the guy with the drum (Budgie, was it? I didn't really follow punk back in the '80's) rolls his eyes a couple of times. But then they haven't got a lot to do as it seems the vocals are all Siouxie overlaid over Siouxie over Siouxie. She sings it well, too, though it would have been nicer if she had sung more than the first verse over and over. Anyhoo, here they are in all their nihilistic splendor:

The Lord really does move in mysterious ways.

I'd been entertaining thoughts of posting some interesting Christmas music over the next week, though this really wasn't the direction I had in mind. The fact is, there were any number of kids' choirs (even the requisite '60's French pop singer) over on YouTube who performed the song with far more charm and poignancy (probably reverence, too, though no one ever knows for sure.) It does sort of tie in with D's post on musical acts one would never expect to record Christmas music (what's next? The Sex Pistols covering Sleigh Ride? previously unreleased tracks of Iggy Popp doing Andy Williams tunes? A Kulture Klub Kristmas?) So because of that and just because it's the sort of thing that piques my curiosity, this ended up being the kick-off post. I expect to be going in a more traditional direction hereafter.

Though if a grainy video of Boy George belting out the Boar's Head Carol surfaces somewhere on the 'Net, I could change my mind...

A Swing and A Miss

2009-12-14T20:33:00.000-08:00

Golfers are familiar with the terms "Mulligan" and "Gimme," but how many are familiar with the term "Tiger?" A duffer hits a "Tiger" when he drives 50 yards and lands, disasterously, against a tree.

Recently around here, the news has been full of infidelity. (One could argue that mainstream news always lacks fidelity, but that is for another post.) South Carolina First Lady Jennie Sanford giving the gubenatorial heave-ho to husband Mark for his transgressions with an Argentine "soulmate." And of course Tiger Woods playing at least an extra nine. I turned on the television the other night to find an entire show dedicated to infidelity: Cheaters. (Will they get around to making shows about the crossing of the other nine commandments?)I couldn't watch more than a few minutes of this "show."

Exposure to infidelity seems inescapable, if lamentable. A good friend at work is having to go through a divorce because of his wife's infidelity. In the first three places I lived during my married life, my next door neighbors divorced (ok, the last ones weren't legally married, but you get the point.), and at least two were due to infidelity. Such things could give one a complex.

All this stands in marked contrast to the example of the Holy Family. Mary and Joseph were not without issues -- Mary's surprise pregnancy must have been a terrible shock, and could have had fatal consequences had she been betrothed to someone else. But we remember the nativity with Mary and Joseph in attendance.

Some look on marriage as quaint and out of date; and yet, the tabloids make a killing from exposing marital transgressions. Despite the sexual revolution, we cannot escape the premise that adultery is wrong.

Collins Carols

2009-12-10T20:41:00.000-08:00

Still in a musical mode, but a bit more Adventy: here is Judy Collins performing The Cherry Tree Carol.

Two candles are lit, and two more to go. . . .

Out of the Blue and Into the Black, part 2

2009-12-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

The Parody department presents he audio version of "Enter Santaman:"

Out of the Blue and Into the Black, or Back in Black Friday

2009-11-27T21:14:00.000-08:00

Black Friday, the Friday after Thanksgiving, has become a somewhat troubling American tradition, making an unofficial start to a secular Advent of consumerism. We usually do as little shopping on "Black Friday" as possible, but since Hon Daughter No. 1 needed a ride to her job at a retail establishment, we decided to go in and look around.

We were browsing a display of recorded Christmas Music, when what to my wondering eyes should appear: A Billy Idol Christmas Album, Billy Idol, Happy Holidays! He is one of the last people I would expect to be making a Christmas record.

On the way home, a local classic rock station serenaded us with a traditional-sounding rendition of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
"Hmm, that sounds like Chrissy Hynde [of the Pretenders]." I guess parenthood can mellow anyone out.

So that got us wondering who else would we not expect to find in the Christmas Music business: Metallica came to mind. What would they sing?

Enter Santaman (to the tune of Enter Sandman)
by DMinor (apologies to Kirk Hammett, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Father Josef Mohr, Johnny Marks, Mel Tormé, Bob Wells and Clement C. Moore)

Full of joy, full of fun
for daughter and son,
tho' he sees everyone.

Up on his shelves, made by elves
(who keep to themselves)
toys for Santa's big run.

Sees the children hoping
Christmas will turn out right.

Beard of White;
Works by night;
Bag in hand,
His sleigh flies off across the land.

Rudolf's nose, a red light;
Reindeer-powered flight --
Al Gore says it's all right.

Chestnuts roast on a fire;
Hymns sung by a choir;
All is calm, all is bright, yeah

Sleep my children, hoping
Christmas will turn out right.

Silent Night,
Holy Night,
Flight is planned;
His sleigh flies off across the land.

(spoken)
'Twas the night before Christmas
('Twas the night before Christmas)
And all through the house
(And all through the house)
Not a creature was stirring
(Not a creature was stirring)
Not even a mouse
(Not even a mouse)

Hush little baby don't say a word
And you might get a toy Big Bird;
Transformer toys like in Japan
From a sooty red-dressed man.

Beard of White,
Works by night,
Bag in hand. . . .

Silent Night,
Holy Night;
Flight is planned,
His sleigh flies off across the land.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

His sleigh flies off across the land.
Bag in hand
His sleigh flies off across the land.
Flight is planned. . .

His sleigh flies off across the land.
His sleigh flies off across the land.
His sleigh flies off across the land.

Perhaps they could host a Holiday special with AC/DC (I heard Hell's Bells on Christmas Day), Judas Priest (Giving After Midnight ), and Sleigher.

Update: A Special Guest could be Twisted Sister, with their rendition of O Come All Ye Faithful. (Last entry courtesy of Foxfier. Many thanks!

Drumsticks

2009-11-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

You never know what will wander across your path! These turkeys decided to show themselves to C the other day, oblivious to the impending holiday.

A happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! And as a bonus, a double treat: the music of Queen and the antics of the Muppets:

Gaming the System

2009-11-18T19:25:00.000-08:00

C ran into what appears to ba a pretty good video game hoax by way of the Anchoress. Now C is not into video games at all, but this one caught her attention. It is called Mass We Pray, and it appears to lampoon the kitchier aspects of Christian video gaming, Catholicism, the WII system and gullible video game geeks.

A cross-chaplet (or an attempt at a rosary?) and kneeler controller!

Of course, anyone who has spent more than a Sunday in a Catholic church will recognize the problems with the "game." The kids cross themselves left-handed. They include "taking collection" and "conducting the choir" as a "sacrament and holy ritual." And of course the mixing of Protestant and Catholic motifs is a dead giveaway.

I would include in an expansion pack:
- the cantor's microphone and "too-high arrangement" level
- the deluxe K of C spaghetti dinner sauce ladle controller
- feedback-prone squealing hearing aid (try to guess which parishoner has it)

We Pray, Protestant Edition would include:
- Crockpot controller for the covered dish supper level
- Stay awake until the end of the sermon challenge
- "Race to the front" altar call level

And, to cover all markets, the game should be available in English, Spanish, French and Tongues.

This sort of reminds me of the "Jesus is a Friend of Mine"/Sonseed meme perpetuated by the dougsploitation blog -- without the innuendo.

Bow Wow

2009-11-17T20:18:00.000-08:00

Did you lose something, Mr. President?
Is something on the floor?
I did not think you'd come to call
with a back that's sore.

You're bent double, Mr. President;
a quite unseemly pose
for a leader, an organizer
whom everybody knows.

Look up here, Mr. President;
you are a head of state!
The leader of the free world
should not be found prostrate.

Oh, do come now, Mr. President;
this is all quite much
we don't need a demonstration
of a one-handed-toe-touch.

Please! Really, Mr. President;
Your wife gave the Queen a hug.
So you don't have to start out
by staring at the rug.

You must know, Mr. President,
the protocol you broke
has made you and your country
look like some kind of joke.

- Dminor

War and Rememberance

2009-11-11T14:16:00.000-08:00

May you all have a Happy and Free Veteran's Day!

video hat tips: Mental Floss by way of Henley the Great Dane Says Boof!

Walken in the Footsteps of Steve

2009-11-01T20:50:00.000-08:00

Entertainer Steve Allen once postulated that rock and roll lyrics were the poetry of the new generations. Actually, he was just making a joke. Anyway, in the interest of culture, the minor premise offers the following dramatic reading of "Poker Face," (written by Stefani Germanotta and Nadir Khayat) by the actor Christopher Walken:

In the 1980s, Steve Allen would recite the lyrics to Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" (written by Pete Bellotte, Harold Faltermeyer and Keith Forsey), but he began the practice in the late 1950s, reading "Be-Bop-a-Lula" (Lyrics by Donald Graves or Bill "Sheriff Tex" Davis).

A Zero-Cal, Dental-Friendly, Slightly Spooky Treat for Halloween

2009-10-31T12:08:00.000-07:00

...The original (accept no substitutes; there has been a proliferation of vids on this theme on YouTube) Buffy Summers v. Edward Cullen mashup. This is how a gal with spunk deals with a pesky vampire stalker!

For the Birds?

2009-10-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

I usually view technology as my friend. My father worked for a large computer company when computers were large, and only Bruce Wayne had one in his home. I enjoy a good gadget, even if my budget has kept me from early adoption of most of them. On the internet, I can really appreciate how internet relay chat, instant messaging, voice and video conferencing software, Wikis (especially Wikipedia) and even blogs have enriched life. I'll even allow that social networking sites have some use. The one phenomenon for which I really haven't found a use is microblogging, also known as Twittering.

Recently, in a leadership seminar, I asked a presenter if she used Twitter professionally. She was effusive in her praise of the program, saying that Twitter had brought business to her company. As proof of Twitter's usefulness she pointed me to an article by networking expert Sarah Michel entitled "Twitter Chatter." Sarah Michel embraces Twitter as

an amazing marketing tool. I personally know several people who have gotten business, secured contracts and even landed new jobs all on Twitter. It provides a great platform for you to get immediate feedback on ideas, products or concepts. Remember, this is free marketing research!

She also gives some tips on keeping the tweets relevant and interesting.
Here are a few of her recent "Tweets":

# I just saw "This Is It" the new Michael Jackson movie with a group ranging from 11 to 50 yrs. of age-EVERYONE loved it! Go see the talent!about 22 hours ago from TweetDeck

# Driving to Denver airport in a blinding snow storm. Luckly it's not sticking to the road. If you don't have to go anywhere today...don't!2:46 PM Oct 25th from Tweetie

# You have 17 seconds to make a positive first impression-make sure your intro is Clear, Concise, Catchy & Communicates your value-add8:03 AM Oct 23rd from TweetDeck

I still have to say that I am somewhat of a skeptic. Consider these "Tweets" from one Levi Johnson of Wasilla, Alaska:

# CONFIRMATION: It looks like the shoot will
be all nude after all.. ..! But in a
tasteful matter (who remembers Austin powers
ending part I)about 21 hours ago from web

# @JGoo220 You know you're a celebrity when
strangers want to see your penis.!!LMAO --
9:57 AM Oct 29th from web in reply to
JGoo220

# there's been a lot of rumours whether I'll
go fulll frontal as of late... I repeat
===its NOT CONFIRM. ( not yet ) I will let
ya guys know9:46 AM Oct 29th from web

Counting for Diddley

2009-10-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has had small children while living in Germany knows about a treat that delights children of that nation, the Kinder-Überraschung (literally Children-Surprise, but known to most Americans as the Kinder Egg). A Kinder-Überraschung is a hollow chocolate egg containing a small plastic toy which usually requires some assembly. These eggs generally cannot be found in the U.S. due to laws about hiding small, choking-size inedible objects in edible things, especially if those edible things are meant for children.

Recently, the U.S. Congress has taken a page from the European candy-makers. Hidden within a large Defense Appropriation bill was a rather unpalatable expansion of hate-crimes legislation. I disagree with making violent crime against one group different than that occurring against another group. Laws against violence should be stringent and vigorously enforced, regardless of the gender or orientation of the victim. To do otherwise would divide Americans into first and second class citizens before the law.

Rather than let my frustrations build over the matter, I engaged the parody department to help me let off steam. The results are here for your enjoyment.

Hate Crime (to the Tune of "Willie and the Hand Jive")
by Dminor. Apologies to Johnny Otis, as well as Eric Clapton, George Thorogood and a million anonymous bar bands.

I know a cat named Way-out Willie,
But when he goes out at night he's named Rocking Lily.
Yeah Congress says that it is true;
A crime against him now counts as two.

From Pelosi to Senator Reid
"A hate crimes law is what we need!
It won't pass standing on its own,
So a Defense bill will be its home."

Hate Crime, Hate Crime, Hate Crime
I don't rate a hate crime.

A doctor, a lawyer and an Indian Chief,
They don't rate that kind of relief.
Unless they are of a certain lifestyle
They won't count as much at trial.

Hate Crime, Hate Crime, Hate Crime
I don't rate a hate crime

Violent crime is evil, against the law.
And no one should fall victim, that goes for all!
Well, defense appropriation now has a twist;
You're second class or you're on a list.

Hate Crime, Hate Crime, Hate Crime
I don't rate a hate crime

Dynamic Duo or Others Doing Smothers

2009-10-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

The talent scouts at the minor premise have been at it, finding "undiscovered" musical talent so you don't have to. Today we present a music-comedy duo from the UK: Rocky and Balls. They have it all -- funny lyrics, harmonies, innuendo, hand clapping, ukelele and kazoos. They remind me a little of the Flight of the Conchords (although they're from a different set of islands), and a little of an SNL skit (folk group with hand clapping).

I'm not really fond of the video ending, but you can't have everything. The two women have solo projects (Sophie Madeline and Hannah Rockcliff aka Hannah Rei, but here the sum is better than the parts.
So, what do you think? The next Spice Girls?

Thanks to Hon Daughter #1

Reaction (In Stages)

2009-10-09T04:33:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what this is about, pick up a newspaper.*

1. Mystification (And a sudden urge to check the calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1.)
2. Amusement.
3. A little anger, when I began to reflect on the many other far more deserving individuals and organizations that could have been selected:

Nominees believed to be on the 2009 Nobel Prize list are US President Barack Obama and French President Nicholas Sarkozy. Other known contenders for this year's prize include former French-Colombian hostage Ingrid Betancourt and Chinese dissident Hu Jia, who was also a front-runner in 2008.

According to france24.com, The Cluster Munitions Coalition is also known to be on the list after it played a central role in getting nearly 100 countries to sign a treaty last year in Oslo banning cluster bombs.

Other nominees are believed to be:

* Macedonian humanitarian and artist Zivko Popovski-Cvetin, nominated by the Macedonian government
* Austrian children's charity SOS-Kinderdorf International, put forward by the Austrian government
* American Greg Mortenson, nominated by six members of the U.S. Congress for his Asian school building charity
* Vietnamese religious leader Thich Quang Do, put forward when a campaign recruited lawmakers to nominate him
* American musician Pete Seeger.
Source

And those are just a few of the 205 submissions for this year. I've read that Dr. Sima Samar was on the short list, for example. A women's rights activist who's worked tirelessly in some of the most hostile territory on earth? Or a recently elected former first-term U. S. Senator with a spotty voting record and a few good speeches under his belt? Gosh, who would want to be on the Nobel committee with such decisions to make?

I had NPR on in the car this morning and even they seemed to be struggling to wrap their brains around the news. Don Gonyea had some real quotables, which I'll have to look up later so I get the wording exact. In the meantime, here's the story currently on their site.

Quip from Hon. Daughter #2 on hearing the news:
"Why didn't they just give it to Miss America? She makes speeches about promoting world peace, too."

I can think of nothing more to say. Re-sabbaticalizing.

Update 10/10: A couple of quotes from Don Gonyea, as mentioned above. He stammered heavily throughout the dialogue, as if he were completely unprepared for the discussion and grasping for something to say:

*Well, it really does seem to be an award that honors what he stands for and what he hopes to do, than what he has actually accomplished...
He has initiated and worked hard to get the peace process going in the middle east, but nothing has really taken fruit there yet; you can look, Guantanamo is still open, still troubles with Iran and North Korea, but the committee sees this president as giving the world hope for a better future, and that seems to be what this is, an award to encourage him to keep doing what he has been doing.

*It seeems like this is a reward for the President for changing direction in US foreign policy...while the Bush administration is mentioned nowhere here, certainly Europe, much of the world was so critical of Pres. Bush...again, Pres. Obama's entire campaign...was based on changng that direction. This is the Nobel committee embracing that change, even if we haven't seen real fruits from that change yet.

*Update 10/20: In retrospect that first line doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I wrote this around 7:30 a.m. so the news hadn't been out very long. Come to think of it, it actually wouldn't have been in the papers that morning (except, of course, for the online editions.)

First, the Serious...

2009-10-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

I never got around to finishing that post on our local health care bill town hall meeting, and don't know when that's going to happen. Before the issue goes completely stale, here is a link to the video of the first of two meetings held in our community. I wasn't at this one; I was at the second. Other than the question session at the end, I think it's fairly similar. (Note: run time is over one hour.)

...then, the silly.
A Mitchell and Webb take on Pride and Prejudice, courtesy Hon. Daughter #1, who got it from a friend. LANGUAGE WARNING: Mr. Darcy gets very NOT drawing room around 1:36-1:39. Miss Jane would not have approved.

Drinking the Kool-Aid

2009-10-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

A singularly bad choice for the advertising of a political event , wouldn't you say?

I found this through Future Majority.

Laws, Decency and Broken Clocks

2009-10-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

I hardly ever agree with Eugene Robinson. I can't think of a time when we have been on the same side of an issue. Generally, his columns approach controversial subjects with no respect to opposing views; an attitude that generally annoys me. Our local paper runs him as a liberal voice in a mostly conservative op-ed section, probably as contrast. Even taking into account his role as equal time, I have considered writing the paper and asking them to replace him with someone with better arguments. (Ah, William Raspberry, why did you have to retire!)

But I have to give credit where credit is due. Mr. Robinson is spot on in his assessment of the Roman Polanski/Hollywood situation in his column of October 2, "Hollywood's Shame." The folks who are supporting Polanski's unconditional release are dead wrong, by any reasonable measure. Polanski plead guilty of a crime, jumped bail (another crime) and evaded U.S. law enforcement for 30 years. Leniency, if warranted, is the province of the sentencing judge, not the Hollywood elite or even public opinion. Not if we claim to be a nation of laws, it isn't.

Much was made of unity and common ground between the right and the left after the election of Barack Obama, although the rosy scenario failed to play out. In this case, at least, there can be unity among the decent.

Something to Think About

2009-09-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

Briefly de-sabbaticalizing to post this link to an extremely thoughtful essay comparing Roman Polanski's life to that of a well-known countryman and contemporary. It's the Anchoress at her best. Worth passing along if only a little bit farther, I think.

Inevitable Destiny

2009-09-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

Recently, an individual from a town down the road ran into a little trouble with the law for allegedly stalking pop/country singer Miley Cyrus. Seemingly in revenge, pop radio stations in the area have been playing Miley's latest in high rotation. I cannot escape from the song. I'm sure that even King George II would have kept his seat had he been played the Hallelujah Chorus repeatedly ad nauseum. So, in hopes of exorcising an ear worm, and having a little fun, the Parody department offers its take on Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A."

That Miley Song
to the tune of Party in the U.S.A.
by DMinor and CMinor (apologies to Lucasz Gottwald, Claude Kelly, Jessica Cornish and Miley Cyrus)

I'm on the job, got a lot to do
But the radio's my friend
Let the DJ spin his hits for me
Am I gonna like them?

I didn't mind hearing it for the first time
It wasn't bad on the second and third time
This is all so crazy
Have all the DJ's got lazy?

And now I hear it
And I'm feelin' like I'll get sick
Too much airplay
And exposure
'Cause when a buddy turned on the radio

And that Miley song was on
And that Miley song was on
And that Miley song was on

So I throw my hands up
They're playin' that song
I'm screaming "just go away!"
Banging my head -- oh yeah
Plugging my ears -- oh yeah
I'm gonna give up
Why didn't they know
That it ruined ol' Billy Ray
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay

Get to my house - it's after work
And the kids have all come home from school
My daughter says she's got to have her station--
She says mine's not cool
Oh well, a little pop can't hurt me
It's definitely not old AT-Forty
'Cause all I want are Dick and Casey
These modern DJ's drive me crazy

But now I hear it
And I'm feelin' like I'll get sick
Too much airplay
And exposure
Only fifteen minutes from the last time

That the Miley song was on
That the Miley song was on
That the Miley song was on

So I throw my hands up
They're playin' that song
I'm screaming "just go away!"
Tearing my hair -- Oh yeah!
Pounding the ground -- Oh yeah!
I'm gonna give up
Why didn't they know
That it ruined ol' Billy Ray
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay

What is wrong with Beyoncé?
Nickleback is just all right.
Really want some Led Zepplin
But there's that song again-- no end in sight!

So I throw my hands up
They're playin' that song
I'm screaming "just go away!"
Banging my head -- oh yeah
Plugging my ears -- oh yeah
I'm gonna give up
Why didn't they know
That it ruined ol' Billy Ray
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay

So I throw my hands up
They're playin' that song
I'm screaming "just go away!"
Tearing my hair -- Oh yeah!
Pounding the ground -- Oh yeah!
I'm gonna give up
Why didn't they know
That it ruined ol' Billy Ray
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay
Yeah
She's suffering from overplay

[maniacal laughter]

Journeys

2009-09-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

We at the minor premise extend our sincere and heartfelt condolences to Kyle Cupp ( Journeys in Alterity) and his family on the passing of their daughter/sister, Vivian Marie.

DMinor and CMinor

How Hope Can Change

2009-09-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

The Summer Slide
by Dminor

A cloud hangs over Washington;
It will not go away.
The people strain to remember
An earlier glory day.

After years of waiting impatiently,
Decades of righteous strife,
We thought their coming would, at last,
bring the town to life.

Anticipation greeted them;
The people hopeful, then,
Are now, by turns, an "angry mob"
Or joyless women, men.

Such hopes we had, and some still do
Come out and show support.
But how much can proud citizens stand
From report after bad report?

Apologies and finger-pointing!
Blame bias, Blame the past!
Who cares what caused the summer slide?
Our champions have finished last.

A cloud hangs over Washington!
Disappointment! Pain!
Baseball came to old DC,
but the Nats lost 100 again.

On the occasion of the Washington Nationals second straight 100-loss season.

At least they're not the Lions.

Drivin' Miss Crazy

2009-09-22T07:32:00.000-07:00

Indeed, those who claim the South fought the Civil War to keep Atlanta from happening may never have considered the possibilities of Dallas.
--Paul Greenberg

If that's so, then may the South rise again. Only yesterday Hon. Daughter #1, planning a trip into the NYC of the Old South, paused briefly to wail, "But I'm too young to die!"
"Shoot," I said. "And you've spent the last three years driving all over Charlotte?"
But the Dirty South is in a class by itself.

A favorite of haiku of mine, from the book Honku: The Zen Antidote to Road Rage:

Atlanta traffic:
Easy to see why Sherman
Burned this city down.

Update, some 12 hours later: It just hit me. Hotlanta's under water, and I sat down this morning and wrote a blog post complaining about the traffic?

Obviously, it's time for a sabbatical.

Arrr Value

2009-09-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, so in that spirit we will present the following piratey items:

Olympic Pirate triathalon (2008 RESULTS):


Fencing: 
   Country      G  S  B  TOTAL
1 ITALY         2  0  5  7
2 FRANCE        2  2  0  4
3t GERMANY      2  0  0  2
4 USA           1  3  2  6
3t P. R. CHINA  1  1  0  2

Shooting:
   Country      G  S  B  T
1 P. R. CHINA   5  2  1  8
2 USA           2  2  2  6
3t CZECH REP.   2  1  0  3
3t UKRAINE      2  1  0  3
3t ITALY        1  2  0  3

Sailing:
   Country       G  S  B  T
1 GREAT BRITAIN  4  1  1  6
2t AUSTRAILIA    2  1  0  3
3t SPAIN         1  1  0  2
3t USA           1  1  0  2
3t P. R. CHINA   1  0  1  2

Pirate Final Rank (must medal in at least two events; point values are Gold=3, Silver=2 and Bronze=1):


1t P. R. CHINA  29 points
1t USA      29 points
3t ITALY    18 points

(Olympic results from the Canadian Broadcasting System site.)

So that settles it, the world's biggest pirates are the USA and China. Hmmmmm.

I'll just settle back and listen to some pirate-appropriate songs:

Sailing - Christopher Cross
Hook - Blues Traveller
Jolly Roger - Adam Ant
Patches - Dickey Lee

and, of course, Pachelbel's Canon in D

Children, Are You Talking?

2009-09-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

The school my kids attend did not run the president's speech, so here are some bullets from the text of the speech and some reaction from across the blogosphere.

The speech:

Hello everyone -

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school.
[S]ome of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

When I was young, . . . . my mother. . . . .decided to teach me extra lessons. [W]henever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year.

what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education.

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.

[N]o matter what you want to do with your life - I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it.

What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country.

[I]f you quit on school - you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.

[I}t's not always easy to do well in school.

I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have.

But I was fortunate.

[T]he circumstances of your life . . .[are] no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude.

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up.

I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education - and to do everything you can to meet them.

I hope you'll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well. . . .

[B]eing successful is hard.

No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work.

[F]ind an adult you trust - a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor - and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

[W]hen you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough.

So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be?

I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms . . . .

I expect great things from each of you.

Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Reading the speech, I thought it was worthy of a local principal or school superintendent. Did the President need to make this speech to all students at the same time? Wouldn't it have been better (and more efficient) to record his piece and let school systems download or stream it? And leave the hype running up to the speech out. Perhaps if they had known the length, more schools would have balked. As it was, the speech appears as a grand publicity ploy rather than a substantive addition to learning. And don't get me started on the first draft of the lesson plan suggestions.

So what was the school-kid reaction to the speech?

From The Bookworm Room

My daughter, who attends middle school, told me that she understood the the take-away message from Obama’s speech to be “The future is your responsibility,” a thought she found unpleasantly burdensome. Generally, she thought the speech was long and boring.

From Lorie Byrd's child on Wizbang

On September 8th, 2009, I watched President Obama give his speech. Some kids got a note from their parents and got to do fun stuff instead. I was very jealous. I listened to him talk about school and how it was the first day of school (although it wasn't) and other boring stuff for FIFTEEN MINUTES! To a kid that's a looong time in school.

During the speech, my friend and her friend were talking, and my teacher said they were being very disrespectful to the president, the leader of our armed forces (blah, blah, blah and some other stuff).

Pointless fact: My grandmother once taught at the high school where the President gave his speech.

Suffer the Children

2009-09-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

There has been much brouhaha over the President making a speech to the students of the U.S. It makes me wonder if he is having trouble getting prime TV time, since he has used the privilege so often. Perhaps after this speech, he can appear on Sesame Street.

Count: Ah, President Obama, how nice to see you
Pres: Hello Count, how are you doing?
Count: Wonderful, just wonderful! Ever since you have taken office I have had endless fun counting the rising deficit! That's one, one trillion added to the deficit. Two, Two trillion added to the deficit. Three, three trillion. . .
Pres: Count!
Count: Four, four trillion added to the deficit! Five, Five trillion added to the deficit! Six, Six trillion. . .
Pres: Count! Please . .
Count Seven trillion, eight trillion, NINE, NINE TRILLION ADDED TO THE DEFICIT AH HA HA HA [cue lighting/thunderbolt].

Maybe that wouldn't be a great PR move after all. On the speech, the Obama administration is taking a great deal of heat, facing accusations of forced indoctrination of students. However, guess who said the following:

1) "The Department of Education should not be producing paid political advertising for the president, it should be helping us to produce smarter students"

2) [the White House should not be] "using precious dollars for campaigns" [when] "we are struggling for every silly dime we can get"

3) "the president should be doing more about education than saying, 'Lights, camera, action.'"

Answers at the bottom of the post.

A menu of classroom activities for the speech exhorts teachers to ask students

"Why is it important that we listen to the President and other elected officials, like the mayor, senators, members of congress or the governor? Why is what they say important?

Additionally, after the speech teachers will ask students to ponder "What is the President asking me to do?" and to write letters to themselves about what they can do to help the president. Teachers are also to encourage participation in the Department of Education's video contest. Perhaps the winning entry will look something like this:

"I pledge to be a servant of Our President.. . ."

An optional part of the plan called for the students' progress toward their goals to be tracked in order to hold students accountable. I wonder if anyone in the "pledge" video has been held accountable to their promises.

The answers: 1) Richard Gephardt 2) Patricia Schroeder 3) Richard Gephardt again
But, of course, they were saying this about President George H. W. Bush's speech to high school students in 1991, contrary to Secretary of Education Arne Duncan's claims that Obama's speech would be "the first time an American president has spoken directly to the nation's school children about persisting and succeeding in school." Where are Gephardt and Schroeder now?
(source PoliFact )

Hat Tip to The American Catholic

Sticker Situation

2009-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

My local paper has taken to sticking advertising stickers at the top of the paper, probably hoping the difference in color and texture will draw eyes to the commercial message. Sometimes these stickers obscure part of the main headline. Thus, when I picked up my paper the other day, the headline I saw was "Evans [obscured] Found Alive, 2 Arrested." This happened soon after the Jaycee Dugard kidnapping story had broken, so I wondered with alarm if there had been a local connection or if something similar had happened nearby.

Removing the sticker, I found the headline read "Evans Gator Found Alive, 2 Arrested." The real story, which I had missed entirely, had to do with the presumed killing of a revered local alligator who lived near a feed and seed store. Needless to say, the paper was happy to announce, on its front page, that said gator had not been the victim of the heinous crime, but that the mutilated gator carcass found near the store actually belonged to another unlucky member of the species. The only humans involved in the story were two folks arrested for hunting alligator out of season and possession of illegally obtained wildlife.

If I were prone to conspiracy theories, I'd think that the sticker was placed where it was to increase newspaper sales. But the following day's headline disabused me of that notion. The headline, obscured by sticker, read "Flu [obscured] Inside." I think I'll pass.

You know it's gonna be a tough day on the job when...

2009-08-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Your new boss says, "You'll probably want to buy yourself a ballistics vest."

(Received secondhand courtesy Hon. Son#1)

I tip my top hat...

2009-08-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

...to a pretty good parody I wish I'd thought of. And well sung, never mind the singer's protestations to the contrary.

. . . What We Need Is A Fountain of Smart.

2009-08-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

While reading a Darwin Catholic article on "crazies" in the political debate a few days ago, I ran into a commenter who touted the upsurge of youth supporting the Democrats and President Obama. He claimed that

"the number of adherents to each party does *not* stay roughly the same over time. Right now the cohort of those 25 years old and younger - that is, those who came of age under President Bush - are the most strongly Democratic generation this country has seen since before WWII."

I countered that the youthful upsurge was not as significant as had been advertised, and that such movements did not guarantee that a political realignment had happened. The next few election cycles, starting with this years Virginia and New Jersey Gubernatorial races and moving through 2010 and 2012, will really show if the tide has turned in the Democratic Party's favor, or if the margin of the Obama victory had more to do with singular events.

So what has happened to the great wave of Obama youth ready to work for their leader? The Houston Chronicle claims that, in the health care/health insurance debate, the Obama youth are AWOL . According to the Chronicle, worries about health insurance resonate more with older voters, rather than young, heathly ones.

On occasion I look in on the site Future Majority, which seeks to capitalize on the large number of liberal youth that supported Obama in the 2008 election. If some of the articles from the blog are any indication, the youth organizers are having some trouble rallying the troops. An article laments the lack of a Facebook health care reform campaign, while another tries to start up a group called the "Young Invincibles." (I didn't make the name up, honest.) Nothing as effective as real taxpayers voicing their opinions, I'm afraid.

Early Fitting for Wings

2009-08-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

The Parody Department was inspired by the Veterans' Administration bringing back into circulation a pamphlet titled Your life Your Choices, Authored by Robert Pearlman, MD MPH; Helene Starks, MPH; Kevin Cain, PhD; William Cole, PhD; David Rosengren, PhD; and Donald Patrick, PhD MSPH.

With the government passing out pamphlets like this, it is no wonder the phrase "death panel" was used in reference to Obamacare.

Want You to Die (to the tune of Live and Let Die)
by DMinor, with apologies to Sir Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney

When you were young, paid your tax, had a stylish look,
We used to say that you could live.
(You know we did, you know we did, you know we did)
But since your ever wors'ning health began to give in,
We don't want you to try;
We want you to die
Want you to die
Want you to die
Want you to die

What does it matter to us?
Can't hold down a job, so you
aren't worth the treatment bill.
So write D N R on your living will.

When you were young, paid your tax, had a stylish look
We used to say that you could live.
(you know we did, you know we did, you know we did)
But since your ever wors'ning health began to give in,
we don't want you to try;
We want you to die.

Hat Tip: The American Catholic.

Quick Town Hall recap

2009-08-18T09:38:00.000-07:00

Between one thing and another, the second installment of my report on the Broun Town Hall meeting in Evans is not coming together. Below are some relevant links for anyone interested in the congressman's positions or the meetings; I'll keep plugging away at my account and hopefully finish before my Oldtimer's syndrome kicks in and I forget it all.

Rep. Broun's website, which includes video of some of his public commentary regarding the health care bill.

An Augusta area TV news report on the Evans town hall meetings.

The Athens, GA paper on the North Georgia town hall, with a bit more detail on what was said.

I noticed two or three folks with camcorders at the meeting and have consequently been checking YouTube for home vids; this has been the only one I've found so far. The audio goes bust after a few seconds and the filmmaker deals with the problem by filling in with odd clips, but it's what we have to work with for now.

Never, ever, ever

2009-08-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

...ever, ever, ever...
dump old Cream of Wheat (or some unidentified substance that resembles old Cream of Wheat) down the Insinkerator.

Sigh.

Back to the town hall meeting report once I can get the sink to drain again.

Blogging the Town Hall, Part I

2009-08-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

In the interest of maintaining a public record, the following are my observations of Rep. Paul Broun's second Evans town hall meeting 8-10-09. This post runs from our arrival to just before Rep. Broun's entrance. I will post the rest separately. (See also photos of the event at the post below.)

We were a little late to Rep. Broun's town hall meeting in Evans and quickly found ourselves in backed-up traffic leading to the event. It was amazing, really--it takes something like a high school football game to get traffic this backed up around here. We chatted about the object of our trip in the car--D mentioned having heard that certain groups were sending out email alerts to get people to show up. I really wasn't that surprised about the numbers arriving--just surprised that the schedulers hadn't gone in for a larger venue than the Board of Ed auditorium. Perhaps, we figured, they'd move the meeting to the commons or gym of the adjoining middle school if it was too crowded.

We finally got to the complex and found parking at some distance from the B of E building, on the road to the middle school's bus lot. Parking was so tight that we felt a bit smug about owning a Honda Fit. (On the other hand, with a big honkin' SUV we could have jumped the curbs.) We waded through parked cars and some more of those big honkin' SUV's still wending their way through the parking lots to the building entrance, where we were relieved to find that at least there wasn't a line out the door.

The entrance hall, however, was more than three-quarters full, with more people arriving. The crowd seemed chatty but calm; signs were not really in evidence. Most of the attendees looked to be locals; there was a fairly good mix of ages and even a kid or two. Black residents of the county didn't seem to have turned out in great numbers, which I thought odd. I guessed (and from what I heard, was right) that most of the attendees were there to oppose the health care bill. I knew Rep. Broun would be opposing it too, so I wasn't expecting too much spirited debate. I figured it would be more like a pep rally, but I was interested to hear what Rep. Broun, a practicing physician, had to say. Though for the moment, we were still stuck out in the hall.

We stood around for a bit, wondering what to do. There wan't much movement and we guessed the auditorium was full. I was crowded and warm and the folks near us didn't seem to have any more idea what was going on; at least everybody was behaving themselves. Somebody passed around a sign-in sheet; we let it go by as we weren't too sure for what we were signing in. Next, an announcement for a Stop Obama Care rally, Sharpied onto a sheet of lined looseleaf, travelled around the room. D. overheard a fellow behind him mutter something about tearing it up, so after we snapped a picture of it he made a point of sending it in another direction. Eventually, the plan for the evening found its way to us: The six o'clock meeting was in progress with a full auditorium. They would end at seven, and a second meeting would be held for those of us willing to hang around for it at seven-thirty. Stop Obama Care had a table by the auditorium door and were the proprietors of the sign-in sheets.

Only a very few people left. We snapped some pictures, people-watched, and drew rock-concert parallels to pass the time. Two county police weaved through, eventually taking refuge behind the reception counter where there was some room and an air vent. One passed a desk chair out to an attendee who couldn't stand comfortably. I noticed a youngish man wearing a Confederate kepi and a "Don't Tread on Me" T-shirt. Around here, there's always one or two of those. I hoped he wasn't planning to call for secession (he didn't). I also noticed a lady carrying a sign. She looked to be fresh from the print shop; it was still packed up in a FedEx/Kinko's pouch. I wondered what it said. On the video I'd seen of town hall meetings around the country, jazzy professional signs were almost entirely the province of Obamacare supporters.

I was impressed with the organizers when seven rolled around: they emptied the auditorium via the back doors and got the second group in with surprising speed. It was another packed house and once the chairs were filled folks spread out along the walls and edges of the dais at the front or sat cross-legged between the chairs and podium--wherever there was room. There were a few police officers, including the two from the hall and a sheriff's official was bustling around but it didn't look at all like security was going to be a problem. I wondered how many other town hall meetings around the country had residents elbow-to-elbow with officials up behind the speakers' desk. I'd seen some video of my former representative Steny Hoyer's meeting in Maryland; that degree of coziness would have done his soul good.

Rep. Broun remained in the back room until 7:30 rolled around. We figured he was taking a break, but it turned out that he was squeezing in a phone interview with Helen Blocker Adams, a local radio talk show host. He had been scheduled to meet with her after the town hall meeting, but had to cancel when the one meeting morphed into two. We continued to survey the crowd. A foursome of young men in black scrubs and Medical College badges--doctors? nurses? med techs?--sat down on the floor in front of us; members of the local press wandered around looking for interview subjects. The sign lady, who had staked out a chair along the wall to our left, unpacked her sign. I was right--it said "83% support a public option." I wondered where she got her stats; D wondered 83% of whom. Farther back along the wall stood a young man holding up a "War is not the answer" sign, also professionally printed. Did he not get the memo? Did he grab the wrong sign on the way out of his house? As we are still at war we guessed he was just in perpetual protest mode against it, but he did seem incongruous. Those two were the only signs we saw except for an occasional 8.5x11 printer sheet.*

A few folks held full-page printouts of the Obama Joker image, which I didn't think was likely to add to dialogue. (Fortunately they got tired of waving them around quickly.) A local news cameraman pulled one of the guys in scrubs off the floor for an interview; another member of the press approached those of us on the floor and asked if anybody there was for the bill. "I have to try to get both sides of the story," he explained, "but everybody I talk to here says they're against it." We pointed him in the direction of the sign lady; she soon became the most popular person in the room as far as the press was concerned. I had noticed her chatting up her neighbors, and before long she was in a heated exchange with another woman. I suspect the cameraman of stoking it because he was grinning like the cat that ate the canary as he rolled film of the exchange. "Talk to her! She knows about socialized medicine!" shouted a lady behind me, designating her neighbor. It turned out, she'd been on a mission trip in Russia. Her observations were valid, but here we are in a military community and they couldn't produce somebody that's had to deal with the British NHS? It was kinda disappointing.

The sign lady went back to holding up her sign, and soon had a trio of women chanting slogans across the room at her. An official-looking lady on the dais quickly shut the group up with a sharp glare and a brisk "cut" gesture. It was clear they weren't going to brook disorder here. The sign lady made some remark I didn't catch, and another lady behind me addressed her with "This isn't the place for that," I again failed to catch her reply, but it elicited a "Shut up" from the other lady, who proceeded to ignore her. I did catch the sign lady's parting salvo, "Kiss my ***, b****!" No points for persuasive oratory there. If there was going to be trouble here, I had a good idea where it would start.

*Correction: D pointed out that he saw one Sharpie-on-posterboard near the back of the room. Some of the film footage from local TV corroborates.

The Green, Green Grassroots of Home

2009-08-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

Rep. Paul Broun of our Congressional district is holding a series of townhall meetings focusing on the health care reform bill. Below are a few pictures, with links to more, that we took while attending one of those meetings in Evans, GA. Rep. Broun, a practicing physician, is a pretty staunch Constitutionalist Republican and needless to say doesn't support the bill currently up before Congress. He is involved in the drafting of an alternative bill. By and large, the audience at this meeting agreed with his views and demonstrated it with emphatic applause during his talk, A few questioners did voice opposition.

Our pictures, unfortunately, end before Rep. Broun stepped up to the podium, thanks to the camera batteries giving up the ghost. We figured we'd post some of them anyway as there's been no lack of negative press surrounding townhall meetings and these at least show one that, while crowded and at times noisy, remained basically civil and orderly. As it's late and we have to get up early in the morning, we'll hold off on a full report until we have a little time to write down our observations.

We arrived fashionably late in our Brooks Brothers apparel (not!) at shortly after the start time of 6pm. Traffic was backed up at the intersections near the Board of Ed bldg. This is the one nearest the B of E . Except for high school football games, traffic backups like this one just don't happen around here.

The Board of Educaton building, parking lot and roads leading in and out of the adjoining middle school, and road fronting the complex were parked up.

The entrance hall was pretty full. The auditorium was at capacity by this point: we weren't too sure we'd be able to get in at all. Eventually the report filtered back that a second meeting would be held after the first ended. A few folks left, but most stuck it out --and more were arriving.

Not too many signs were in evidence; a lady had one in a bag fresh from the print shop. There wasn't a whole lot to do out in the hall: a group calling itself Stop Obama Care circulated a sign-in sheet, then passed an announcement for a rally, hand-written on ruled looseleaf, around. D overheard a fellow behind him mutter something about tearing up the next one that went by, but most of the attendance was sympathetic as far as we could tell.

We didn't see any swastikas, but there was one fellow wearing a confederate kepi and “Don't Tread on Me” T-shirt. (It's Georgia, after all.)

Townhall Meeting, Phase II. Another capacity crowd.

Evidently somebody didn't read the memo.

Click here for the rest of the photo essay, with captions by C.

Fanning the Flames or Smothering Dissent?

2009-08-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

The following from the White House Blog is reminiscent of a hot Ray Bradbury classic:

"These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov."

I'll Dance at Your Wedding, or Aisle Be Gettin' Down to Chris Brown

2009-07-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

It sure isn't Felix Mendelssohn.

10 Points up for expressing the joy of the occasion. 1000 down for not expressing the solemnity of the occasion. I wonder what the vows were like. If you dance like this at the wedding, what do you do at the reception?

I had intended to dive in the fray resulting from Darwin's Post "Culture Clash" on American Catholic and and Darwin Catholic, with a comment lamenting the lack of sacrament in the modern view of marriage, but this may say it all.

Maybe they read Jane Austin instead of Corinthians. Probably not.

Left Side Story

2009-07-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

"Might she persuade Kennedy to come out differently than what Souter could persuade him to do?" Erwin Chemerinsky, dean of the new law school at the University of California at Irvine, said before the hearings. "Can Sotomayor by virtue of her life experiences move Kennedy to join the more liberal bloc more often?"
AP wire, July 18, 2009, on Fox News

A good question to be sure, though I was kind of hoping the more Constitutionally-inclined heads on the court might be good influences on (presumed) Justice Sotomayor. Not that I would want the job of oddsmaker for either possibility.

Anyway, the suggestion moved D to song, and I figured the first Monday in October of '09 might be a good time for a musical interlude. Thus the following. Justice Kennedy doesn't ordinarily seem a flashy type, so if he's going to be whisked off leftwards, he might as well make a good show of it.

Imagine a ballet of law clerks fading to black in the background as Tony, I mean Justice Kennedy, in a pensive mood, steps out into sunset on the Supreme Court portico.

Sonia
By CMinor with just a leetle inspiration from DMinor.

Sung to the tune of Maria from West Side Story.
Apologies to Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim, Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise, Richard Beymer (even though he didn't really sing it,) and Jimmy Bryant (who actually did.) Heck, throw in the original Broadway cast and the movie cast (right down to key grip and best boy) as well. I know when I've crossed the Musical Blasphemy line.

At decision time I've been known to swing
(Chorus: O Sonia! O Sonia! O Sonia! O Sonia!)
Between activist left and strict constructionist right wing.
(Chor: O Sonia, etc.)

O Sonia!
I just met the justice named Sonia--
And serving the blind dame
Will never be the same
For me.

O Sonia!
I spoke but a moment with Sonia;
She's so jurisprudent
Her devoted student
I'll be.

Ah, Sonia!
Your rich diverse wisdom amazes:
Of your CV I can but sing praises!

O Sonia!
I'll never stop drifting
O Sonia! So-ni-a,
O Sonia! So-ni-a,
O Sonia!
So-ni-a (be sure to drag this one out good), O Sonia!

For judgement such as hers I'm yearning,
So leftwards I'll be evermore turning.
O Sonia!
I'll never stop learning
From Sonia!
Her judicial temperament makes me sing--
So-ni-a!

Sic 'Em, Dogma

2009-07-14T07:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, I haven't been doing much with this blog in quite a while and I haven't done anything that could be confused with Catholic blogging in longer. So here, at last, is something of a more thelogical nature than what has become my usual offering of snark:

I used to hear more about Kathleen Kennedy Townsend when we lived in Maryland and she was running for Congress or something. (Some wag at the time remarked that every Kennedy scion received, at graduation, a Cross pen and his or her own congressional district. Or maybe it was a silver cup and and a district at christening; I forget which.) Anyway after hearing mention of an article she'd written yesterday, I thought I'd look it up and see what she was up to.

What she's up to is an article in that bastion of journalistic integrity, Newsweek. It's published, of course, to coincide neatly with last week's presidential Papal audience. Its title is--try not to hyperventilate--Without a Doubt: Why Barack Obama represents American Catholics better than the pope does.You could read it, but if you've been following the Catholic web trail any for the past six months and read any of the discussion on why practicing Catholics should have supported Barack Obama you can probably write it for yourself. Things are not entirely hopeless, however; thoughtful responses are beginning to come in. Catholic Online has this nicely succinct one by Frederick R. Liewehr.

Unhinged

2009-07-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

The master of the parody has done it again. Al Yankovic has released a send up of the style of Jim Morrison and the Doors, titled "Craigslist" and it is dead on. Just as he did with his masterwork "Genius in France" Al manages to pay tribute while being hilarous. Craigslist includes the talents of Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek, which undoubtedly helps match the Doors sound, although Yankovic's band has matched (or bettered) the sound of such diverse groups as the B-52s ("Mr. Popeil"), Nirvana ( "Smells Like Nirvana) and Chamillionare ("White and Nerdy").

To take in the "Craigslist" video, you'll need to go the posting on YouTube, where Al can direct you to vendors of his song.

Doesn't This Just Warm Your Globe

2009-07-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

How much bad analysis can be traced to something like this?

hats off to xkcd.

Low-Fidelity Recordings

2009-07-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously considering launching a "Cast-Iron Skillet Award" (preferably between the eyes) for politicos who get busted cheatin' on their spouses and act like it's business as usual. My own model (photo included) will have to do for this though it has taken a bit of rust (especially after I cooked tomatoes in it). It is, however, in fine fighting fettle (and doesn't need to be pretty) should any aggrieved spouses wish to borrow it for the purpose of driving a point home for the cads who done them wrong. Mrs. Mark Sanford appears to be handling her wandering husband's recent divulgences with class and spine not often seen in wronged political wives; I'm not too far a drive and can drop it off on the way to the zoo sometime if she'd like. In any case, I hope she maintains the firm spine. Somebody's got to, and based on the events of the last two weeks I'm not holding out much hope for him.

In the meantime, I'll just submit the following playlists (thanks to DMinor for his assistance remembering some of the songs) for edification and/or inspiration of the two parties most intimately concerned in the Sanford Infidelity Sideshow. A couple of the songs will also do for the third most intimately concerned party (as noted.) I won't attempt a separate playlist for the femme fatale of the piece. All I can think of off the top of my head is Teardrops on My Guitar (Swift) and that doesn't seem to fit anyway.

Playlist for Gov. Mark Sanford:

Your Cheatin' Heart (Williams, Sr.)
Travelin' Man (Nelson)
The Thrill is Gone (King)
Torn Between Two Lovers (McGregor) [POV shift required]
I'm in Love With the Other Woman (Parker, Jr.)
Me and Mrs. Jones (Paul)
Savin' All My Love For You (Houston) [POV shift reqd, In original form, also useful for the mistress's playlist. Or he can assume it is.]
Take a Letter, Maria(Stone) [Actually about the situaton in reverse. But the name fits, and the sonofagun's demonstrated considerable skill at self-delusion.]
It Wasn't Me (Shaggy)
Breaking Up is Hard To Do (Sedaka)
Making Love (Out of Nothing at All)(Air Supply/Steinman--who else?) [Suitable for attempts to "fall back in love" with one's wife. Which inevitably brings us to...]
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad (Meat Loaf/Steinman)

Playlist for Jennifer Sanford:

Lyin' Eyes (Eagles) [Again, some POV shift required]
Take It on the Run (REO Speedwagon) [POV shift req.]
You Oughtta Know (Morissette)
I Will Survive (Gainor)
Before He Cheats (Underwood) [Strictly for the catharsis, of course]
Take a Bow (Rhianna) [Should Mrs. S conclude that she's really had enough.]
Irreplaceable (Beyonce) [Might also work for the mistress's playlist, should she decide Sanford's more trouble than he's worth.]