the minor premise

the minor premise

Saturday, July 25, 2009

I'll Dance at Your Wedding, or Aisle Be Gettin' Down to Chris Brown

It sure isn't Felix Mendelssohn.

10 Points up for expressing the joy of the occasion. 1000 down for not expressing the solemnity of the occasion. I wonder what the vows were like. If you dance like this at the wedding, what do you do at the reception?

I had intended to dive in the fray resulting from Darwin's Post "Culture Clash" on American Catholic and and Darwin Catholic, with a comment lamenting the lack of sacrament in the modern view of marriage, but this may say it all.

Maybe they read Jane Austin instead of Corinthians. Probably not.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Left Side Story

"Might she persuade Kennedy to come out differently than what Souter could persuade him to do?" Erwin Chemerinsky, dean of the new law school at the University of California at Irvine, said before the hearings. "Can Sotomayor by virtue of her life experiences move Kennedy to join the more liberal bloc more often?"
AP wire, July 18, 2009, on Fox News

A good question to be sure, though I was kind of hoping the more Constitutionally-inclined heads on the court might be good influences on (presumed) Justice Sotomayor. Not that I would want the job of oddsmaker for either possibility.

Anyway, the suggestion moved D to song, and I figured the first Monday in October of '09 might be a good time for a musical interlude. Thus the following. Justice Kennedy doesn't ordinarily seem a flashy type, so if he's going to be whisked off leftwards, he might as well make a good show of it.

Imagine a ballet of law clerks fading to black in the background as Tony, I mean Justice Kennedy, in a pensive mood, steps out into sunset on the Supreme Court portico.

By CMinor with just a leetle inspiration from DMinor.

Sung to the tune of Maria from West Side Story.
Apologies to Leonard Bernstein, Stephen Sondheim, Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise, Richard Beymer (even though he didn't really sing it,) and Jimmy Bryant (who actually did.) Heck, throw in the original Broadway cast and the movie cast (right down to key grip and best boy) as well. I know when I've crossed the Musical Blasphemy line.

At decision time I've been known to swing
(Chorus: O Sonia! O Sonia! O Sonia! O Sonia!)
Between activist left and strict constructionist right wing.
(Chor: O Sonia, etc.)

O Sonia!
I just met the justice named Sonia--
And serving the blind dame
Will never be the same
For me.

O Sonia!
I spoke but a moment with Sonia;
She's so jurisprudent
Her devoted student
I'll be.

Ah, Sonia!
Your rich diverse wisdom amazes:
Of your CV I can but sing praises!

O Sonia!
I'll never stop drifting
O Sonia! So-ni-a,
O Sonia! So-ni-a,
O Sonia!
(be sure to drag this one out good), O Sonia!

For judgement such as hers I'm yearning,
So leftwards I'll be evermore turning.
O Sonia!
I'll never stop learning
From Sonia!
Her judicial temperament makes me sing--

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sic 'Em, Dogma

Okay, I haven't been doing much with this blog in quite a while and I haven't done anything that could be confused with Catholic blogging in longer. So here, at last, is something of a more thelogical nature than what has become my usual offering of snark:

I used to hear more about Kathleen Kennedy Townsend when we lived in Maryland and she was running for Congress or something. (Some wag at the time remarked that every Kennedy scion received, at graduation, a Cross pen and his or her own congressional district. Or maybe it was a silver cup and and a district at christening; I forget which.) Anyway after hearing mention of an article she'd written yesterday, I thought I'd look it up and see what she was up to.

What she's up to is an article in that bastion of journalistic integrity, Newsweek. It's published, of course, to coincide neatly with last week's presidential Papal audience. Its title is--try not to hyperventilate--Without a Doubt: Why Barack Obama represents American Catholics better than the pope does.You could read it, but if you've been following the Catholic web trail any for the past six months and read any of the discussion on why practicing Catholics should have supported Barack Obama you can probably write it for yourself. Things are not entirely hopeless, however; thoughtful responses are beginning to come in. Catholic Online has this nicely succinct one by Frederick R. Liewehr.

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Monday, July 13, 2009


The master of the parody has done it again. Al Yankovic has released a send up of the style of Jim Morrison and the Doors, titled "Craigslist" and it is dead on. Just as he did with his masterwork "Genius in France" Al manages to pay tribute while being hilarous. Craigslist includes the talents of Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek´╗┐, which undoubtedly helps match the Doors sound, although Yankovic's band has matched (or bettered) the sound of such diverse groups as the B-52s ("Mr. Popeil"), Nirvana ( "Smells Like Nirvana) and Chamillionare ("White and Nerdy").

To take in the "Craigslist" video, you'll need to go the posting on YouTube, where Al can direct you to vendors of his song.

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Monday, July 06, 2009

Doesn't This Just Warm Your Globe

How much bad analysis can be traced to something like this?

hats off to xkcd.


Saturday, July 04, 2009

Low-Fidelity Recordings

I'm seriously considering launching a "Cast-Iron Skillet Award" (preferably between the eyes) for politicos who get busted cheatin' on their spouses and act like it's business as usual. My own model (photo included) will have to do for this though it has taken a bit of rust (especially after I cooked tomatoes in it). It is, however, in fine fighting fettle (and doesn't need to be pretty) should any aggrieved spouses wish to borrow it for the purpose of driving a point home for the cads who done them wrong. Mrs. Mark Sanford appears to be handling her wandering husband's recent divulgences with class and spine not often seen in wronged political wives; I'm not too far a drive and can drop it off on the way to the zoo sometime if she'd like. In any case, I hope she maintains the firm spine. Somebody's got to, and based on the events of the last two weeks I'm not holding out much hope for him.

In the meantime, I'll just submit the following playlists (thanks to DMinor for his assistance remembering some of the songs) for edification and/or inspiration of the two parties most intimately concerned in the Sanford Infidelity Sideshow. A couple of the songs will also do for the third most intimately concerned party (as noted.) I won't attempt a separate playlist for the femme fatale of the piece. All I can think of off the top of my head is Teardrops on My Guitar (Swift) and that doesn't seem to fit anyway.

Playlist for Gov. Mark Sanford:

Your Cheatin' Heart (Williams, Sr.)
Travelin' Man (Nelson)
The Thrill is Gone (King)
Torn Between Two Lovers (McGregor) [POV shift required]
I'm in Love With the Other Woman (Parker, Jr.)
Me and Mrs. Jones (Paul)
Savin' All My Love For You (Houston) [POV shift reqd, In original form, also useful for the mistress's playlist. Or he can assume it is.]
Take a Letter, Maria(Stone) [Actually about the situaton in reverse. But the name fits, and the sonofagun's demonstrated considerable skill at self-delusion.]
It Wasn't Me (Shaggy)
Breaking Up is Hard To Do (Sedaka)
Making Love (Out of Nothing at All)(Air Supply/Steinman--who else?) [Suitable for attempts to "fall back in love" with one's wife. Which inevitably brings us to...]
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad (Meat Loaf/Steinman)

Playlist for Jennifer Sanford:

Lyin' Eyes (Eagles) [Again, some POV shift required]
Take It on the Run (REO Speedwagon) [POV shift req.]
You Oughtta Know (Morissette)
I Will Survive (Gainor)
Before He Cheats (Underwood) [Strictly for the catharsis, of course]
Take a Bow (Rhianna) [Should Mrs. S conclude that she's really had enough.]
Irreplaceable (Beyonce) [Might also work for the mistress's playlist, should she decide Sanford's more trouble than he's worth.]

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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Would Che be the Designated Hitter?

From the Parody Department -- reaching back to a poem published in 1910, "Baseball's Sad Lexicon," for inspiration to comment on current events.

"Zelaya's Sad Company?"
by DMinor (apologies to Franklin Pierce Adams)

America's saddest of possible names:
"Castro, Morales, Chavez."
Trio of tyrants put freedom to flames,
Castro, Morales, Chavez.
Ruthlessly putting down any dissent,
Making a lackey of our President--
Lords that would never have terms that are spent:
"Castro, Morales, Chavez."

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